I’m not sure if this is the right place for this.
Okay, first and foremost I wanna say that I am not proud of this whatsoever. I feel very disgusted and disappointed in myself and have no intention on acting on it, and that is why I’m asking for help.
I don’t want to give too much detail, but for context: I (21F) am completing my degree. I met my professor (45-50M) my freshman year and at first, I thought he was quite charming and witty. As I’ve gotten to know him more through the years—being he’s also the department chair of my chosen degree—I have developed somewhat a relationship with him. Always within the boundaries of a student-professor relationship, but he’s been able to help me through some relationship issues I’ve had and is always motivating me and giving me extra attention. I’ve noticed he also is like that with other students, so I’m not getting a special treatment or anything.
However, I can’t stop thinking about him. This also leads me to feel incredibly guilty and disgusted with myself. Even while typing this. A few reasons why I feel so strongly about this (aside from the fact he is my professor) is the fact he’s way older than me (probably in his 40-50) and is married and with a kid. I have seriously tried to stop seeing him under this light but every time he talks to me or compliments me in my assignments or my genuine passion for the class, I can’t help but feel so jolly and child-like. I have avoided going to his office hours because, even when i try to play it cool, I always get self conscious and extremely nervous. I love my degree and I wish there was a way to stop feeling like this. He’s also an excellent professor and I’m looking forward to taking at least one other class with him, but my feelings are seriously posing a great concern.
Thank you for reading all this!!
TL;DR I want to stop crushing on my professor but don’t know how…I need some advice.