Me(19F) and my boyfriend(19M) have been dating for almost a year now. He introduced me to a kink of his very early on before we even started dating. I was taken aback at the time because I had never heard of it and didn’t know how to go about it. It brought up certain questions in my head over the time we have dated and eventually I’d ask and he would answer. He’s always been very sweet and tells me all the time we don’t have to do it if I feel uncomfortable.
To this day I’m not super into it, but I like being able to see him turned on and satisfied so I go along with it. For a while I honestly thought I was uncomfortable with it and couldn’t enjoy it, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I do find it hot at times. My issue is that he basically needs it to finish.
We didn’t start getting sexually active until a month or two into dating. For some time we mainly focused on me and while we did things together, he never finished. It wasn’t until we started incorporating his kink that he would finish while we were active.
All in all, because of this I feel like he only likes me and is with me because I’m willing to do his kink with him. It feels like he’s more into the fact that someone will do it with him instead of actually finding me hot because he has to have it every time. I cannot name a single time that he has finished at just the thought of me or doing things of kink with me. This is my issue, I realized, when it comes to his kink. What do I do? What if we talk, come to the conclusion of trying without it, and he still can’t finish? It makes me feel bad and like he’s not actually attracted to me.
TL;DR: My boyfriend needs his kink to finish and it’s making me feel insecure he doesn’t actually find me attractive.