Pretty much just the title. We brought a puppy home about 2 months ago. Our senior dog passed away 2 years ago, and we decided it was finally time. My fiances mom told her she absolutely couldn’t get another dog. My fiance typically allows her mom to control her, because they grew up in a single mother – only child dynamic, and my fiance always says “but it’s just always been us” for every excuse.
We’ve been together for 9 years now, so I’ve tried to express that while that was the old norm, she needs to focus on us now and what’s best for our relationship. We both wanted a puppy, we have the means to take care of him, so why not?
Now, she’s avoiding visiting her mom and keeping phone calls short to avoid the dog making noise. It’s starting to cause her anxiety at home and she is being hostile to me over little things. Every time I ask, it comes down to something to do with her mom but mainly that her mom doesn’t know about the dog.
I feel like it’s weird, especially the lack of visiting her mom, because it makes it seem like there’s something bad going on at home. I really want to text her mom and just rip the band aid off, but I know my fiance will lose it. Simultaneously, I feel it’s very immature to hide something which is 100% not her moms decision to make, and to also hold her moms opinion so heavily at 32 years old. My mom and I have a great relationship, but she respects my personal choices and doesn’t try to control me. What would you do?