Women who lost sex drive after childbirth, how/when did it return?
December 3, 2025
Women who lost sex drive after childbirth, how/when did it return?
19 comments
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When I left my ex lol Turns out being treated like shit doesn’t do it for me 🤷🏻♀️
Literally after I left. Turns out being guilted into sex and forced to have sex before 6 weeks PP is a libido killer.
Honestly, not until after our second kid turned three. I thought it would be never. Then poof, it was back. Pelvic floor PT and spicy books helped quite a bit. Turns out you can have an internal tear even without ever going into labor and having two scheduled c-sections, so that’s fun.
2 years pp
Or when your kid starts sleeping lol
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It returned when I left my daughter’s father 😹
Pretty much not until my second was five. We were at a breaking point and got into marriage counseling. Improving communication, dividing responsibilities and more sleep helped to reignite my interest.
Childcare and sleep training. As well as taking break frim cooking in weekend and focusing that time with each other.
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After about 8 weeks or when the bleeding stops, your body is “technically” ready for sex again.
Mentally, however, it is another story. You’re tired, you have to take care of another human who can’t tell you anything 24/7. You suddenly become the mom/maid/housekeeper/cook, and then you’re expected to become a siren with your husband, even though you’re exhausted from sleepless nights? The first 6 months are HARD.
But then, if the dad helps out and if he gives you those extra minutes to take a breather, and if your boobs are not leaking or hard as a rock from breastfeeding, then I’d say at about 9 months. If you’re breastfeeding, then the hormones and your wetness come back after you stop (usually within 2-3 months).
If your body/hormones/ period are back to normal, your sex drive should come back. If it doesn’t, then it’s a mental thing.
I found that if I felt resentment, like the dad was not pulling his weight, or if I felt frustrated, I would hold that card and not want to give sex as a penalty or “revenge.”
As I’ve gotten better with each baby, however, and now that I’m older (my kids are in their 20s now), looking back, sex was steady in my 30s (after we decided not to have more kids).
Sex was more frequent in my 40s compared to my 30s
But in my 50s, my sex drive is at its highest because I’m older, we have more free time, and I am grateful for the life we have built. He shot his shot/asked me out in 1994, and from there we got married, bought a home, created beautiful babies, bought cars, shared careers, vacationed, shared family, etc. Because he is truly my person and my soulmate, I love and enthusiastically enjoy every chance to make love to my husband. I want him every day.
I hope this helps!
Keep up with vitamins D, magnesium, probiotics and Oils (such as Flaxseed, Omega, or Fish)—these help with lubrication.
And yes, spicy books help! Lol. Romance, feel-good reads are free “drug”/dopamine hits. 😆
About 4 weeks postpartum. My body wasn’t physically healed enough however so we had to wait. Vibrator definitely came in handy at that point because for some reason the drive hit HARD for me 😆
I think there is just something super sexy about watching your husband be a good dad!
I’m pregnant now with my third and taking extra vitamins I didn’t take during the last two pregnancies and am planning on continuing to take them for my own health. So, this will be an experiment. Because I do feel the increased vit D and iron are helping energy.
I didn’t really enjoy it when I was breastfeeding, I BF my youngest until she was 1.5 and I just hated being touched by anyone haha
I felt like she was just attached to me permanently and I didn’t see my body as something sexual ya know? it felt weird..
but I would say when she turned 2ish maybe a bit later.. she is now 5 and the fog has cleared, I feel like I have my body back in more ways than one. I am also older and more sure of myself now and I just generally feel better.
don’t rush these things, do what feels natural, relax about it as well. there isn’t a time frame for these things it’s different for everyone
When my husband asked if I’d be interested in sleeping with other men. Turns out that perked me right up!
It’s been off and on since my son was around 1, but came back with a vengeance when he was about 4.
My sex drive came back after my partner stepped up as a partner for our relationship and our baby and everything just changed. I thought I was broken to be honest and that something was wrong on why I don’t have a sex drive but I was constantly resentful towards him and didn’t have any desire.
As soon as I left the baby daddy my sex drive returned
19 comments
[removed]
[removed]
When I left my ex lol Turns out being treated like shit doesn’t do it for me 🤷🏻♀️
Literally after I left. Turns out being guilted into sex and forced to have sex before 6 weeks PP is a libido killer.
Honestly, not until after our second kid turned three. I thought it would be never. Then poof, it was back. Pelvic floor PT and spicy books helped quite a bit. Turns out you can have an internal tear even without ever going into labor and having two scheduled c-sections, so that’s fun.
2 years pp
Or when your kid starts sleeping lol
[removed]
It returned when I left my daughter’s father 😹
Pretty much not until my second was five. We were at a breaking point and got into marriage counseling. Improving communication, dividing responsibilities and more sleep helped to reignite my interest.
Childcare and sleep training. As well as taking break frim cooking in weekend and focusing that time with each other.
[removed]
After about 8 weeks or when the bleeding stops, your body is “technically” ready for sex again.
Mentally, however, it is another story. You’re tired, you have to take care of another human who can’t tell you anything 24/7. You suddenly become the mom/maid/housekeeper/cook, and then you’re expected to become a siren with your husband, even though you’re exhausted from sleepless nights? The first 6 months are HARD.
But then, if the dad helps out and if he gives you those extra minutes to take a breather, and if your boobs are not leaking or hard as a rock from breastfeeding, then I’d say at about 9 months. If you’re breastfeeding, then the hormones and your wetness come back after you stop (usually within 2-3 months).
If your body/hormones/ period are back to normal, your sex drive should come back. If it doesn’t, then it’s a mental thing.
I found that if I felt resentment, like the dad was not pulling his weight, or if I felt frustrated, I would hold that card and not want to give sex as a penalty or “revenge.”
As I’ve gotten better with each baby, however, and now that I’m older (my kids are in their 20s now), looking back, sex was steady in my 30s (after we decided not to have more kids).
Sex was more frequent in my 40s compared to my 30s
But in my 50s, my sex drive is at its highest because I’m older, we have more free time, and I am grateful for the life we have built. He shot his shot/asked me out in 1994, and from there we got married, bought a home, created beautiful babies, bought cars, shared careers, vacationed, shared family, etc. Because he is truly my person and my soulmate, I love and enthusiastically enjoy every chance to make love to my husband. I want him every day.
I hope this helps!
Keep up with vitamins D, magnesium, probiotics and Oils (such as Flaxseed, Omega, or Fish)—these help with lubrication.
And yes, spicy books help! Lol. Romance, feel-good reads are free “drug”/dopamine hits. 😆
About 4 weeks postpartum. My body wasn’t physically healed enough however so we had to wait. Vibrator definitely came in handy at that point because for some reason the drive hit HARD for me 😆
I think there is just something super sexy about watching your husband be a good dad!
I’m pregnant now with my third and taking extra vitamins I didn’t take during the last two pregnancies and am planning on continuing to take them for my own health. So, this will be an experiment. Because I do feel the increased vit D and iron are helping energy.
I didn’t really enjoy it when I was breastfeeding, I BF my youngest until she was 1.5 and I just hated being touched by anyone haha
I felt like she was just attached to me permanently and I didn’t see my body as something sexual ya know? it felt weird..
but I would say when she turned 2ish maybe a bit later.. she is now 5 and the fog has cleared, I feel like I have my body back in more ways than one. I am also older and more sure of myself now and I just generally feel better.
don’t rush these things, do what feels natural, relax about it as well. there isn’t a time frame for these things it’s different for everyone
When my husband asked if I’d be interested in sleeping with other men. Turns out that perked me right up!
It’s been off and on since my son was around 1, but came back with a vengeance when he was about 4.
My sex drive came back after my partner stepped up as a partner for our relationship and our baby and everything just changed. I thought I was broken to be honest and that something was wrong on why I don’t have a sex drive but I was constantly resentful towards him and didn’t have any desire.
As soon as I left the baby daddy my sex drive returned