TL;DR: I (25M) have been going out with this woman (23F) for a month. She suddenly pulled back after our 5th date and cancelled our 6th, which was my bday. I texted her a message on my bday but has not responded since. Any advice?
Context:
I’ve been going out with this woman for about a month. I’ve known her since HS but I shot my shot late October, and we’ve had 5 dates in total. We’ve only texted (no FaceTimes or phone calls at all) each other every day ever since I got her number (good morning/good night texts, check-ins throughout the day, hour-long text discussions, etc). I’m goofy/cringy when I text as well as act feminine and she matched the energy perfectly, which I have not found in anyone else. Our chemistry and dynamic was amazing. We like a lot of similar things and have a lot in common which is so crazy (left-handed, cheated on, music taste, dating intentions, ethnicity, friends, etc). We have also asked a lot of deep/personal questions to each other and felt like we got closer because of it.
Our dates were great too, just getting to know each other, giving each other gifts/surprises, and always smiling/laughing. Even though after every date we said we had so much fun with each other, I was taking it very slow, reason being was cause my friend said to since I get emotionally attached too quickly and she also said she wanted to take things slow.
2nd date, we were holding hands on/off. The 3rd date was when I truly started holding her hand and giving her hand massages, and 4th date was her lying on my shoulder and me lying on her head, giving hand massages and her reciprocating the massage and just being really close physically. I have not kissed her yet at all nor hooked up.
5th date:
This date was similar to the 4th, and the first time I gave her a kiss (ON THE HEAD). She brought up the question of if I wanted kids, and I said I wanted 2, but she didn’t want any and saying if it was a dealbreaker. I replied saying I completely understand for financial reasons, etc. and that it’s her body, her choice, implying that I don’t mind as long as I’m with her. I told her that I wanted to spend time with her on my birthday and she agreed. We texted each other at the end of the date, and said she had fun and that we’ll see each other in 3 days.
Pulling away:
The day after the date, she did not text me at all until 8 PM, saying that she had a rough day. I said that I completely understand and hope that she’s doing well. I thought it was odd cause we had a routine, usually saying good morning/good night, checking in w each other, and having a discussion before we sleep about our day/random things.
The day after that, she didn’t text again the whole day until 7:30 PM and cancelled the date saying she was gonna be with family. I was sad about it, but I said that I 100% understand and tried to check in with her on how she’s doing. She didn’t reply that day and replied the next morning on my birthday, greeting me a happy birthday and apologized saying that she’s been so out of it. I said I completely understand, and said this: “Can we call later tonight? I wanna hear your voice”. Ever since that message, she hasn’t replied and it’s been about a day of going no contact.
I’m an over thinker so I’ve been spiraling and making scenarios in my head, like “I should have kissed her earlier”, “Did I do something wrong on our last date?” “I hope she texts me back” “I need to double-text and ask for closure so I know if I really need to move on”.
I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days and in reality, I know that she lost interest and stopped liking me after our last date, but I wanna pursue her without trying to seem needy/clingy. Is it possible to recover from this situation and if so, what advice would you give me?
If you need more context, feel free to ask questions!