I have been married to my husband for a few years. I have had a lot of issues with my father in law and so have my parents. unfortunately, there was a recent incident where he completely ignored them at a huge family event and my parents felt absolutely humiliated since a lot of other family members noticed. he has done things like this in the past but my parents have looked past a lot of it. this was the last straw and they’ve decided to completely cut off my father in law.
however, in the past few months, there have been a lot of instances where I think they have taken it too far (closed the door on his face when he tried to visit them at their house, didn’t ask about his wellness when he had a recent surgery, banned him from visiting their house, etc).
i have been very supportive of them setting their boundaries but ultimately some of the things they have done have been hurtful to my husband as well and I feel bad about it (especially not asking my husband about how this father was doing right after he had a surgery, etc)
I had a talk with them to maybe ease up on their enmity a bit with the FIL and maybe try to be civil to ease the tension but they have taken great offense to this and my mom has stopped talking to me for the past couple of days.
im just trying to see things from everyone else’s side and I’m tired of being empathetic to everyone else. I wish people just got along but I understand that’s very immature.
my husband understands that his dad is a very abrasive character, but I guess it’s ultimately his dad and he loves him so a lot of my parents actions have hurt him. my parents do a lot for us, including a lot of our meal prep and childcare. They are also respectful to my husband but they don’t think FIL deserves any respect Because of his past actions/personality.
I need advice.