Guy liked my photo on hinge mid October, and we started to chat. We haven’t met yet (before any of yall start: I have a broken foot) and we live far away from each other. It’s about 2 hours if I wanted to go to him for example. We agreed from the start that if we did want to meet we’d meet half way, when I’m able to walk and I’m in good condition to. I’m in no condition as my foot has not gotten better, and I’m actually kind of concerned and switched podiatrists to get a second opinion)
I even told him it’s ok if he doesn’t want to chat given our distance and he kept saying he’s okay so it’s not like I didn’t mention that. Anyway, we’ve been chatting since then and we’ve done a couple of phone calls that would last about 1-2 and a half hours each call. We don’t plan them out weekly but I mention kind of last minute when I end up being free if he can talk and he’s always eager to and able. Even if he’s not free and working remotely he’ll still talk which is nice. He’s also 30 M while I’m 25F so there is that age gap.
So far he seems very sweet and mature which I like. He’s not physically my type but obviously personality matters more. I noticed though when we first got off the apps and talked on iMessage, at a point he’d stop sending long texts back or wouldn’t reply to things unless I did a double text. It gave off the impression he was losing interest, but when I brought it up he pretty much fixed the behavior. When we spoke about it again on the phone, he kind of brushed off the concern but it Wasn’t a big deal to me since we had seemed to move past it.
There are 3 things that are kind of bothersome to me so far and would like opinions on:
• I am also always the one to bring up hey do you want to call which I wish he’d also initiate
• most recent issue this week.. we were trying for a phone call, I said I couldn’t later that day because of work. He then says he’ll text me and let me know when he gets back that day from errands. He never texts me so I find that really rude since I was waiting for his text about when we’d call. He then texts me tonight (4 days later) hey sorry it’s been a crazy couple of days (lame reason) and then doesn’t even try to ask for a phone call. Would you even reply that point? I didn’t like that at all and I find when you are still in the talking stage, especially when you haven’t met yet that stuff matters even more to be genuine. It was a big turn off.
• he keeps talking about how he’s 30 now and is at a place where he should be married and settled down. If he doesn’t find someone then his parents are apparently going to find someone for him. To me, him mentioning this repeatedly makes me feel as if he is just going to settle due to his age.
• from the start of us chatting he has brought up his toxic older uncle multiple times. He eventually would say but we don’t have to talk about it don’t wanna scare you off early… but it does seem quite loaded. Eventually he did discuss some of it but even then it was really loaded, and it kind of felt like he was just ranting his stress off to me and it’s a bit much when we have fully gotten into too personal of conversations yet. I’m always willing to listen, but you know when someone you just meet just keeps dumping their issues on you?
Some of my friends have said that it’s weird he hasn’t tried to come to me instead due to my injury. Which that’s fair, but it’s also very far. However my friends boyfriends they’ve met online have made that effort to meet them if it was like distance and they hadn’t been official yet so I’m kind of torn. He does make his way about 30 – 40 minutes from me to visit grandparents, so it’s not impossible but he’s never brought it up