I’ve been talking to a guy from my high school for about 3 weeks. The first week was amazing, constant messaging/calling, compliments, shared intentions, and we had plans lined up. We only hung out twice because of schedules, but things felt great, and it was serious.
Then our first date got cancelled because of his family plans. No big deal, but after that, his messaging started slowing down. On Monday, he asked if I was free the next day. I asked what time, and he didn’t reply for a whole day, which he’d never done before. He later called and apologized, saying work pulled him into a meeting an hour away (true, because he gave me his location prior). I understood, but it was awkward considering earlier he was snapping at me, but didn’t respond to my message about the plans???
We kept texting, but with bigger gaps. By Friday evening, he hadn’t responded to my message from the morning the day before, so I sent him a message basically saying if he had second thoughts, he could tell me. He replied, saying he wasn’t trying to ghost me, he’s just really busy, and he wants to make sure we get along before rushing into anything. That reassured me, and I completely agreed.
Our regular messaging ensues and then stops on Monday evening, with me messaging him back. It’s Wednesday now, and I’m not sure what to do. He continues to snap me back, but hasn’t even read my message (his read receipts are on) from two days ago???
Based on our earlier conversations, it’s clear he likes me; he initiated hangouts, picked me up, complimented me, paid for things, etc. And I’ve shown interest too. Our conversations haven’t been surface-level or “dry” at all, even since then. But he’s been inconsistent ever since week one, and I’m confused. My family thinks that he needs to show more effort that he’s pursuing me by consistently responding to me (reasonably) and initiating more hang-outs.
My friends who think he’s ghosting me said I should:
1a) Text him and things now before he properly ghosts me
1b) Send a message saying, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about things, and I’m not sure we’re on the same page. I really enjoy getting to know you, but the lack of communication on your end makes me feel like you might not be as interested. I don’t want either of us to feel like we’re wasting our time. You seem like a genuinely great person, but I’m starting to feel like this might not work unless things change.”
My other friends who just think he’s busy or isn’t prioritizing me correctly said I should:
2a) Ask to talk in person (without negative connotation)
2b) Distance myself and give him a taste of his own medicine (even if he does text me back)
I really like him, but I don’t know what to do. I gave him an out in my previous text, but it’s clear he didn’t take it. He’s told me before that he enjoys talking and spending time with me, and has made it clear that he likes me, but ever since the first week, he’s just been inconsistent. I completely understand if he’s busy or if he literally just hasn’t seen my message yet, but my friends don’t want me to get hurt. Please help a girl out.