(24M) I've always had this problem. It's not exactly people pleasing(although it can certainly lead to ppl pleasing). I've been excluded, bullied, gaslighted a lot of times during my life trajectory. Ppl often treat me as different in a bad way.
I know i should'nt do everything they want me to, but i also know that if i behave the way i want to , talk the way i want to, people would not either. I know because i've tried both sides. Some friend groups ditched me when i was too agreable. Other ones, insulted me after i started showing them what i like, calling my weird,nerd, loser, autist.
I'm very upset now, because i don't want to end up alone.
I feel like people will never value me, and it's tiresome to bring value EVERYTIME, being Buddy Love, the life of the party, the guy that have experienced everything, seen everything…
I feel i disappoint people by being more quiet, reserved and not having 500 different hobbies and 1.500 skills to talk about.
I'm a social environment, i always thought i should put me in evidence, and to such thing happen, i have to get aligned with the group in his tastes,conversations and behaviours. But the mask soon will fall, so i seek advice to that.