Let me explain briefly (and apologies if this is a bit disjointed, I got like two hours of sleep last night). I've struggled with social anxiety and being socially inept since I was a young kid. Initially, in like elementary school, I was still in that naive stage where I knew I was "different", yet I still tried connecting with peers without thinking too much about negative outcomes or how I was coming off.
It wasn't until middle and high school that I started directly noticing how people seem to react towards me, as opposed to how they do other people. In some ways, it's become even more noticeable as an adult, especially since I no longer have the "oh, he's just a kid, he's bit odd, haha" excuse, or whatever you wanna call it.
Basically, there's a multitude of times I can recall (particularly in scenarios like ordering food from a fast-food place, or checking out with a cashier), where the other person just immediately seems… I don't know, annoyed when they start talking to me? Weirded out, offput? Something along those lines. Like, I just got lunch, and two different people I spoke to, at two different locations, acted like similarly to how you'd act if a disheveled hobo just walked up to you and tried talking to you (random example, could also use 'that guy nobody likes' or something like that). Yes, you could argue I was imagining this, or maybe those people were in a bad mood, but this reaction is fairly common for me.
And tbh, I honestly can't tell if I'm being paranoid half the time, if this is just the anxiety making shit up in my head, or if it really is something about me, something I say, how I look, how I act, etc. I'm convinced it's either appearance or mannerism related, because frankly it seems like people change their tone and vibe as soon as they see me for a few seconds, or at least as soon as they start interacting with me. And, it's frustrating af; it makes me feel like some kind of freak, or an outcast, and frankly, on days where I get this reaction multiple times, I really feel the urge to just shut myself away at home for days on end, just to get away from people.
Just had to get all this out, cause yeah, it happened today, and again, it feels awful.