“What are your thoughts about how this ends?”
Is that a weird question to ask someone you’re casually seeing?
I started dating this divorced father a few months ago and straight from the beginning he told me that he isn’t looking for anything serious, that he’s not interested marriage again, and that he’s not interested in monogamy. That’s not really what I’m looking for, but I am in a transitional phase of my life so I figured we could date for a while and then eventually things would fizzle out, but it doesn’t really feel like things are fizzling out.
Things have really ramped up. We talk every day. We have future plans. We’ve spent a lot of time together and the last time I was over at his place, he even said I could meet his kid, even though I declined.
A couple weeks ago I did see that he had unmatched me on the dating site that we met, but both of us still were/are dating others as far as I know, though we don’t talk about that at all. So I’m not sure why he unmatched me but I feel like it’s because he wanted to update his profile and he didn’t want me to see. So now I keep wondering if he is actively pursuing other people and that it’s gonna be time for him to tell me that he doesn’t see this going anywhere and he wants to end things. I keep waiting for that to happen or maybe for him to do a slow fade and gradually stop being as responsive, but neither of those things have happened yet. I don’t know what to do.
I thought about just asking him how does this end, but I wasn’t sure if that is a weird thing to ask someone. I like him and I don’t necessarily want things to end, but I definitely want to be realistic about what can and cannot come from this relationship. If he said that he doesn’t want anything serious then I believe him. So I’m really not trying to pursue that. I just feel like I would rather know in advance when I can expect this to be over rather than have him gradually pull away and have to figure it out on my own.
Another thing is he told me that most of his dating situations since his divorce have ended whenever she asks to deepen the relationship or make things exclusive. So I’m guessing that he’s thinking eventually I’ll get tired of just being casual with him and ask him to be serious with me and at that point he’ll deny me and I’ll stop talking to him, but since I don’t have plans to ask him to deepen the relationship, is this gonna just go on indefinitely? I feel like I’m in limbo.
TLDR: at what point do two people who are both cool with casual stop seeing each other?
Edit — thank you all for your initial responses and I do plan to respond when I have a bit more time. But just to be clear, I am okay with casual. I do like him but I don’t feel our lives are compatible long term anyway, even if he hadn’t blatantly said he wanted casual (which he did). But I of course do have feelings for him … if that doesn’t sound too crazy. I’m okay with it ending, sure it’ll be sad but endings are often sad and things don’t have to last forever to be good or nice. I just feel a bit off balance because it’s kind of going on for longer than I expected. So my original idea was just to ask, but I thought it might be weird to just say “when do you see this ending?” I want to open up the convo but maybe that’s not the best way.
And yes I am definitely overthinking.