I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for a little over two years. Our relationship itself is great — he’s loving, supportive, and truly someone I can see a future with. The main issue is how I feel around his family, and I’m starting to wonder if it’s a red flag or if I’m just overthinking.
My boyfriend is one of five brothers, ages ranging from early 20s to 30. Two of his brothers are friendly enough — they make small talk and acknowledge me. But the other two? They literally say nothing to me. No “hi,” no “bye,” no eye contact — they just completely ignore me. It’s like I’m invisible.
Here’s the breakdown:
• Dad: Very warm. Hugs me, asks how I am, clearly makes an effort.
• One brother: Friendly and chats with me normally.
• Another brother: Also talks to me casually.
• Remaining two brothers: They’ve barely spoken a single word to me in two years. They walk past me like I’m not even there.
• Mom: Says hi but doesn’t try to talk to me beyond that. It’s polite but cold.
This has been the same since day one. Even at big events like Thanksgiving. I sit there quietly, and they don’t even attempt to include me or acknowledge my presence.
I eventually told my boyfriend that it hurts and makes me uncomfortable going over there. He took me seriously and talked to them. Their response? They said they’re introverts and don’t see why they should change.
I’m not asking them to love me or have deep conversations. I just want the bare minimum, a simple hello when I walk into their house. Some acknowledgment that I’m a part of his life.
I’m worried about the future, holidays, family gatherings, maybe kids someday. If this is what it’s like now… will I always feel like an outsider? Will I always sit quietly in a room of people who don’t even act like I exist?
Additional context: I’m Hispanic and my boyfriend is American. My entire family has welcomed him with open arms. We’re very affectionate, we talk a lot, we make sure he feels like part of us. So then when I go to his house and feel like a stranger after two years… it’s discouraging and sad. I find myself not wanting to go anymore.
TLDR: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and still feel ignored by half his family. I’m starting to wonder if I’m overreacting or if this means I’ll never feel welcome there.