This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Mornin’ y’all! *You* are your best thing. And when you understand that you are your best thing — not someone else, not someone’s love or absence of it — then you can love without fear. Because your worth is no longer up for negotiation.
Reached out to a woman I met traveling a month or so ago, when I was not single. Because of that we just chatted at the guesthouse a few times and shared a ride to some attractions. But it was pretty friendly and we stayed in touch.
She actually lives a few hours away so maybe we can meet up this weekend to check out some Christmas markets. Cautiously optimistic based on prior vibes, this would be nice to reconnect after the breakup.
**Please excuse my dust: construction underway.**
Getting over feelings is *hard*, especially when I’ve made a sustained effort to go on dates, build new connections, and work on processing those old feelings at the same time. It’s messy as hell.
But to *you*, I’d say
*I meant what I told you. I’m rooting for you to be happy, even though I’m not part of that happiness. Don’t settle because you put yourself on a timetable. Birthdays are arbitrary milestones for things like this. The time it takes is nothing in the end, but experiencing real love is everything. Every person you meet is a gift in one way or another (I hope, anyway).*
*Thank you for being there for me.*
Just having a hard time. I give love, I am love, but no one ever sees me as someone they can love. I can’t help but to look inward and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me.
So uhm… things with the girl I’m seeing escalated, aggressively. It was… everything I had been looking for and more. It was funny because I always said that missing my ex would be, in part, missing the physical because she matched up with my needs/desires really well. Turns out, someone else does too and is a better fit for me emotionally, as well.
If you’re missing your ex and scared that someone else won’t meet your needs just understand that there is someone out there that could be a better match for you and you putting that person on a pedestal isn’t helping you. Make sure that you offer what you say you offer and someone else will appreciate it, I promise.
Been texting/snapchatting this one guy for a few months. I tried breaking things off a couple times now, but somehow we keep continuing to chat. I guess he’s just persuasive. We haven’t even met in person yet, but we’ve had intimate conversations.
He knows I am talking to other people, and knows I am *currently* seeing someone new. And I know he’s talking to multiple girls. He seems like a great guy, but I don’t think he’s the guy for me. he’s fun to talk to and stuff but its really surface level. nothing deep at all.
at this point, trying to break things off *AGAIN* doesn’t seem like the right move. I’ve been pulling away, not replying as quickly to him and not initiating contact. But I still feel bad–I don’t want to ghost but I feel like I need to at this point? I have been telling him I’ve been swamped at work, and then the holiday madness…but at what point is my silence loud enough?
Should I just block and move on? or leave him unread in snapchat? I know he tends to send me an actual text if I don’t reply for a bit in snapchat because I just don’t really use it all that much.. but. I digress lol. advice would be helpful but also venting here helps me too.
What’s something you’ve wanted to say to or reply with in this sub, but for sake of being a decent person and/or not wanting to start internet drama you refrained?
Feel free to share it here (without naming names), I’ve got my popcorn ready and I’m not going back to work until tomorrow 😎🍿
Seeing my housemates fight (they are a couple i just live here) stresses me the fuck out. All too similar to hearing my parents fight as a teen.
Makes me wonder if there are any relationships out there that arent toxic. Just feels like some couples hide it better in the public eye.
How do I gently tell my girlfriend that riding in the back of her car, which is crusted in dog spit and hair, is something that I found gross and would prefer not to do again?
We went out this weekend with friend, which meant one of us had to sit in the back seat of her car. She gets motion sick if she doesn’t drive, so it was me or the friend. I volunteered, and she agreed because I think she knows it’s bad — I just think she’s “noseblind” to how bad it is.
She has seat covers for her dogs back there, but they drool and shed so much it gets everywhere — windows, console, back of the driver / passenger seats, floor, etc. It’s even a cascading waterfall of white crusted spit spit down the side of her car when they stick their heads out the window.
I offered multiple times to let her drive my car — which is pretty spacious, very clean inside, and in great working condition, but she seems (understandably) uncomfortable with that. So I’m not sure what to do. I don’t particularly like sitting in the front seat of her car, as it is also still crusted in drool and dog hair from when they lean over onto it, but it’s not nearly as bad as sitting in the back seats, and I would never make a stink over it.
How can I bring this up as gently as possible? If the shoe was on the other foot and she brought up something about my cats that I knew was gross, I might be a little sensitive, just because…at the end of the day, they are animals, they can’t really help it, and I don’t want her to feel like she now has to stress about every little gross thing her dogs do. Because that’s just part of owning animals and I accept that. And I love that she loves her dogs, even if I don’t love them. But the back of the car was a hair too far (pun intended?) for me to repeat without me starting to resent it (and her dogs? which is unfair to them) a little bit.
How would you broach this?
Alexa, play The Tortured Poets Department 🎵
What’s the deal with reverse image searching on the apps? Like, how common is it and how likely is it for an image to still show if you crop the photo differently?
I have a few great photos I wanted to swap in on Hinge, but since I’m self-employed and constantly need new content, many of them have been used on my website or my brand’s social media accounts. It’s bad enough to have an unhinged stranger stalking my personal accounts, but my professional accounts are my livelihood so I’m not sure if there’s a way to minimize the risk but still use the photos?
i feel defeated. i moved back for family stuff; that itself is not going well.
dating is definitely not going well. i’m a professional lady that was probably top 20-30% in income where i used to live. now, it’s probably top 10-20% of eligible bachelors. i truly feel old, fat, unwed.
i’m hanging on tightly to the people that i do meet because there might be no one else.