I was always a floater friend. I never had a circle of friends that I am still in touch with, and am single as well. I wonder if anyone who was in my situation ever found a genuine guy friend who wasnt from their childhood, high school or college that they would say is their "best friend" and its mutual.
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I have a couple stalwart friends from HS and college, but just as many close friends have come from the dad stage of life I’m in, having kids either of similar ages or in shared activities. I haven’t asked to define the relationship if they feel as close to me as I do to them. I don’t want the rejection and awkwardness if it’s not mutual and I’m just a casual acquaintance to them.
I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail last year. I’m 43 next month and met 2 definitely forever friends. We still text just about daily.
I made really good friends at work when I moved to a small town.
Will be moving away but my feeling is that we will remain friends and meet in the future.
I find that even if I have really good friends from before, sometimes “life gets in the way”. People are stressed, tired and have their own projects going on.
After college I made a big group of friends in my late 20s. But they havent really been going out and they all live kinda far (1hr away) so its hard to have casual hangouts.
Two or three years ago I met some new friends, and a group coalesced shortly after. We have spent nearly every other weekend together, or more often. We have celebrated every birthday together, every holiday, been to funerals, been to weddings together.
The group has become hard and fast with an inner circle of maybe 10 of us and an outer circle of maybe 20 or so. I am 38 and my wife is 30. We have known some of the group members over the years but never regularly all hung out.
It started with us drinking together at video game and anime conventions, then meeting up to go to edm shows, then festivals, then bar crawls and meetups. It went to house parties we each threw (all of us love hosting big groups), then it turned into board game nights and karaoke nights. We do dinners and casual nights with just a few here and there. Its been excellent and I never expected it.
I spent the other night after some drinking staying up with another friend who had just turned 40 saying how its great to finally have a group of real friends who we all enjoy spending time together.
I was 31 when I met my bff (I’m now 54). We were both older students returning to university to finish undergraduate degrees we’d each begun more than a decade previously. He’s the brother I never had (even though I have a brother), has always stood beside me, has always made time for me, we’ve been business partners (at this point our finances are virtually combined), helped each other through some bad shit and horrendously painful breakups, and always always always had each other’s backs. He’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and he has saved my life at least twice. 👬
Met my (43M) best friend (45M) at work like 7 years ago. We both have similar life situations and families. We clicked instantly with weird similar interests and he was at the same level as i from the start (by level i mean mental compatibility and effort). Can’t describe it any other way. We help each other off work on weekly basis and occasionally drink beer at weekends just the two of us (i don’t usually drink but with him drinking one or two beers and catching up everything that’s happened feels solid). I don’t think i ever had fried like him before.
Yes. He just decided he liked me, and started inviting me to things.
Yes.
Extremely niche machinery restoration.
Probably made more friends from that than anything except high school.
Yep! Several from work I still text daily. One is a former mentee from my alumni association. Some from my kids’ schools.
We’re good at making and keeping friends.
Many good friends, a few lifelong ride or dies over 2 years 31-33 in grad school.
Grad school. One of the perks of being a decade older than everyone is that people think you are cool.
For me, an introvert with moments of extrovertedness , my closes adult friends have been though social hobbies – glider flying, curling, community theatre, bit of board gaming. Still have some good friends I found in high school and college but closest friends I’ve got now are friendships I’ve made in my 30’s
I have 3 best friends from earlier phases of my life (one elementary school, one high school, one college years).
When i got divorced at 30, i made a 4th lifelong friend from that.
This guy (who actually knew me but wasnt friends with me in high school ) decided that he would always be here for me. He had gone thro his own difficult divorce and didnt want me to go thro one without support.
From weekly phone check ins, to being there almost every day of my custody trial. I was pro se so really appreciated having someone there for me.
We are all so much richer from our friends. This guy was the friend who I didnt even know I would need and I am so grateful for him inserting himself into my life every day.
Happen when doing hard things together like a mission
I am the same. Part of a bunch of friend group but float a lot and don’t really have best friends. I am very lucky to have 14 guys and a girl that I call brothers and sister. Only one of them is from high school.
I met 6 of them in my thirties and 2 others in my 40s. With two others that most probably will be in that closeness in a few more years. It takes time.
The secret to friends for me at least is effort. I put out effort to be a good friend. If it’s not reciprocal then I move on, I have boundaries and know what I want. Deep relationships are kinda my jam. Things change though. My high school era friend of 32years is still super close while another friend of 25 years blew up and we no longer speak.
I met them through all walks of life and many of them the only thing in common is me
Yeah, though I don’t really have “best friends”. I do have close friends, and a few of them, and I’ve been lucky enough to gather friends wherever I’ve gone.
I met a woman through work, we clicked, talked became friends. Then it was outside of work socialising. And from that, the conversations covered stuff we’d not talk about in work, which led to us being close friends.
I did! 4 years ago when I was 30 I decided to get my EMT license to beef up my resume for nursing school, my buddy was taking the class bc he was a volunteer firefighter. We were both single with no kids with similar personalities that were just down to do a bunch of different things, instant bro’s immediately. Backpacking trips, motorcycle rides, horseback riding, rock climbing. Definitely consider him one of my best friends.
*”Did anyone make a lifelong/best friend in their 30s or above”*
No.
*”and how did it happen?”*
It didn’t.
Made my closest circle of friends at 31 when I started a new job. It’s a mixed gender group. For better or worse, we trauma bonded over a super toxic work environment as the little group of millennials amongst a sea of jaded Gen-X and Boomers. 3 of the 5 of us have left the job but 2 are still there. We have a group text that is super active, and we all try to get together at least 2-3 times per year despite some of use moving a few hours away.
The coolest thing we do is a weekly check-in to see how everyone is hanging in there. Every Sunday, someone calls for the check-in and then we all share what made our week good or bad. It seems silly but it really makes you reflect a bit and getting their perspectives on things helps a lot.
I did made a friend just casually talking about collecting. We just kinda stayed close friends
I have 2 guys that sat at the same table as me in kindergarten, we still are close.
I started BJJ 4.5 years ago and have met several guys that are close friends still. We all get together outside of training.
Yeah early 30s, my wife started a new job. She told me she had a coworker that I would just really vibe with and orchestrated a double date with him and his wife. She was right, he’s become one of my best friends over the last few years.
My sister-in-law married him.
Met two of my best friends through work. Even after we split up from the jobs on our own individual terms, we just kept hanging out. One of them was the best man at my wedding. Made a couple of other friends through a grown-up ice hockey team.
I made a completely new set of friends at 36, I never expected that to happen. They live far away so I don’t see them as much as I’d like too, but it is possible.