Hey everyone,
I’d really like some outside perspective on a situation that caught me off guard.
A bit of context: after several tough years, I basically shut down the “dating” part of my life for a long time. I did a lot of personal work, and lately I feel ready to connect again.
And then, last Friday night, something a bit unexpected happened.
I went out with some friends for drinks. One of my buddies brought coworkers, including his boss. We’re all around the same age (28-32). She’s in a relationship — that’s pretty much all I know.
We talked a lot, laughed, got closer. There’s a basement in the bar that turns into a sort of underground club, and when we went downstairs, we danced and ended up kissing for a long time. Then we spent another hour or two sitting outside, just talking. It felt natural and genuinely good.
When I walked her to her car (she didnt drink much), I told her I had a great time but that maybe we shouldn’t see each other again because she’s in a relationship and that she's buying an appartment with the guy. She mentioned the apartment she’s buying is under her name only and then she basically gave me an opening so I’d ask for her number (“Otherwise how will I pay you back for the parking ticket?”).
I texted her when I got home. She replied saying she liked me a lot too.
We haven’t talked since.
And now I’m not sure what to think.
I don’t want to be a backup plan or get involved in something messy. I might be wrong (alcohol + late in the night + had a connection) but I also feel like there was something genuinely mutual. If she weren’t in a relationship, I’d definitely want to see her again, even just once, to see what’s real.
So… I'm here to have your thought about it, what do you think ?
Should I send a respectful, low-pressure message?
Or is it better to walk away completely since she’s taken?
Thanks for reading and for any advice !
NB : Has my friend who's working with said, it was totally unexpected