I [40f] and my bf [39M] have been together for some time. He is does not have a career, friends or relationship with his family. He is with me almost every day. I love him very much and I know he loves me very much. He even said that he would do anything for me. He is protective, sweet and caring and puts me on a pedestal. He makes me coffee and breakfast every morning. So many great things about him but he complains a lot, like the minute I see him, there is something he has to complain about. It comes to a point where I dread seeing him because of the constant complaining. I've even told him that I would like to see him and embrace him and have him embrace me and smile at me but instead, I get the guy that comes in, walk right past me and complain about the people on the road. He is also very insecure and negative. If sometime good happens to me like a promotion, of course he would be happy but there is always something about how he's a loser and he has no career. If I go out with my friends or family, he is pouting about how he has no one in his life. If I go on vacation with friends or family, he complains about not going anywhere. At first, I felt bad but now it's so exhausting. We get into an argument and he'll say something about how we don't go on vacations together but I always go on vacation….except he does not have a passport or a REAL ID [required in the USA] and does not make an effort in getting one. If I want to plan something, he'll say he does not have money or want me to pay for his expenses OR he'll say he's too busy. Just recently I went out with my family for my sibling's birthday and he stayed back. He was pouting about being the odd man out and I became defensive and called him out on his pouting. He said I have no empathy for him. I listen to him all the time about how miserable he is but I am so tired of him not letting me enjoy a peaceful day without him complaining about his life. Am I not being empathetic enough? He said I lack the understanding of what he's trying to tell me. I do not know how we even got here because all I wanted to know if he had decided what he wanted to eat and all of sudden he feels some type of way.
TL;DR – Boyfriend likes to complain about his life and pouts about my life and it is making me rethink this relationship.
Update: well he just left, probably thinks that relationship should be more understanding of each other and empathetic. I think I stopped being empathetic and more realistic because I am too old for this…