Hi! I’m new to this reddit stuff, so I read all of the rules and I’ll try to follow it the best way.
I started writing for opinions on my relationship, but well, I realized I know I need to leave or I will spend the rest of my life unhappy. But I feel ungrateful as he was so good to me.
Things have been wrong for so long, but this is the first healthy relationship I ever had. My boyfriend is kind and respectful. But I think I settled for my « bare minimum », ignoring my needs, just because for once in my life a guy was good to me.
Not going to rant too much, so let’s just say I lost myself in this relation. I don’t recognize either my personality nor my apparence. I became a ghost, to the point that people who knew me before told it to me.
He is a really nice person. People always tell me how I am so lucky to have him. That I will probably never find someone like him again. I am bipolar, and he stood by me when I was at the hospital, when I took 20kg because of my medicine, when I couldn’t even get out of bed for a full week. I burned out of my old job and lost it, and he was fine with it, compensating financially each month without complain.
We have been living together for 2 years now. We have a cat (mine) and a dog (adopted together). I live in Paris and I don’t have any family here. If I decide to leave, I don’t have anywhere to go. I can’t afford our current rent alone, nor can I find a new appartement as I currently don’t have a « stable » full time job. His parents also bought a lot of furniture when we moved in, so I guess they will take it back. He will probably take the dog with him, 2 pets being a lot to assume alone for now.
Worst thing tho, is that I’m afraid for him. He is a lonely guy. Doesn’t express himself to anyone other than me. I feel like no one else deeply cares about him except me and he deserves better. No one takes the time to understand him. I care so much about him and want to see him happy. He’s a great guy, just not the one for me I guess.
Thanks to anyone who read all of this.
My questions are :
– Is there a correct way to end things ?
– Should I say something now, knowing we would still have to live together for a few months (financial reasons) ?
– Or should I just start a discussion (I already told him 100th time I don’t feel like we’re going anywhere), plan my exit, and end things when it will be easier ?
– Maybe there is still a way to work things out..?
Honestly I’m not sure what to ask exactly. I feel so sad writing all of this but I genuinely need advices, or just some words to give me a bit of confidence. I can’t stand feeling bland anymore.
I hope I worded everything according to the rules. If not, I’m sorry. Also I’m French so I hope my English is okay.
TLDR : I’m unhappy even though my bf is really great. I want to end things, but I feel ungrateful + we live together and have pets. I feel trapped.