So I met this guy on Tinder (please note: in where I live people meet partners on Tinder, two of my girl friends met their husbands on Tinder and I was recommended Tinder here over other apps). He is a MD, a surgeon in the local hospital in where I live. He lives in the same country as I am but not in the same state. I don't usually do a long distance anything but he said he can move here if we clicked. We discussed to meet irl in 2.5 weeks.
He was communicating a lot, on the weekdays chasing me hard always sending texts. On Saturday and today Sunday not so much. He said he had to go into a few surgeries and he was swamped Saturday on this "project" which is strickly deadline driven, he said. We were scheduled to talk that Saturday evening on the phone like we were talking previous days. But not much texts as before. He fell asleep on Saturday evening after getting home and taking shower or something, and when we briefly talked, he sounded super exhausted. I felt really bad someone could get that exhausted… So I don't think he was lying about that. I dated a MD before but not a surgeon. I don't know what it's like to date a surgeon tbh. On Sunday today we had texted but not a lot. He said he has to submit some strict deadlined papers by Monday and he would become free on Monday onward. I am not sure what to think of this.
He came on pretty strong… I mean, he asked me to be exclusive to just talk to him by the second day on chat. He asked me not to talk to other men and he promised he would not talk to other women…I am not sure if this was ok. We haven't even met irl (yeah…). No guy has asked me this before though I talked to many men on chat before. By the third date of chatting on a messaging app (we already took it off of the app), he called me "my wife", "I'm your BF!" "You will do xxx once I make you pregnant" etc. even though it was said it in a joking manner? (no emojis, he was really serious I think). I laughed at those texts, because they were so unreal I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and because no men had said something like that before meeting irl, but why is he so weird and very sexual like this? Is he possessive? I am not comfortable being asked to be exclusive before even meeting irl. I still want to talk to other guys on apps until I dated him irl and we agreed to be exclusive after knowing we click emotionally and intellectually. You know? I thought this was normal.
I think he was really attracted to me asking for my breast pics etc and he said he loved my pretty face etc. He made a lot of comments on my face how attractive he found me. I am also wondering how do I deal with some of these guys who seem to be really infatuated by my pics even before meeting irl? It is flattering sure, but I am not ready to stop talking to other men just because they found my pics attractive. I know when I meet the guy, I may not like him on actual dates (their manners could be very off, they could be rude to waiters/waitresses, they could be unappealing looking…). This happened like 20 times before in the past 6 months. Lol…
He is not the only guy who became possesive before we could actually go on a date. There were a few guys from Spain, France etc. (they're not even in my country…jeez), they developed some strong infatuation to my pics and I am verified on Tinder and I only talk to guys who are verified on Tinder too. So he is verified too. So I don't think we are fake people but I don't feel comfortable to be asked to be exlusive, and especially after non texts on the weekend. I actually met my most recent ex BF on Tinder too but he never unmatched me while we were dating, and we hid our profiles while we were exlusively dating, and we are still friends to this day. He said this guy is coming off forceful, which I agree. I am disturbed by this guy really.
But today I saw him unmatching me on Tinder, and he said "I deleted Tinder" when I asked him why he unmatched me. I think he is lying because I still see him in my Liked feed of men in there. If he deleted his Tinder account, he would disappear from the men I sent a like too. Just deleting Tinder app doesn't do much. He must have unmatched me, am I right?
I just want a normal guy who is free on the weekends to hang out, just go to average restaurants (or a nice one once in a while) or movies and don't ask me to claim me as their "wife" or their "BF", or get super upset when I talk to other men on apps even before meeting. I don't understand these men. Why are they like this? We haven't even met…
Is this normal? I don't understand why these guys develop strong infatuation of sorts, as I am not like them. Like I don't jerk off to pics of strangers (I know he did that to my pics…he told me…) And my pics don't have revealing aspects (no bikini pics or semi-naked pics etc). I don't understand these men.
I am super uncomfortable being asked to be exclusive before meeting irl or they get very upset when their strong desires weren't satisfied according to their wishes? I don't think it's healthy to develop such strong feelings towards someone I never met. Am I right? What do you guys think?
I feel really disturbed by his possessiveness or controlling nature, I think. Please can you advise? What should I do?