In my experience, I’ve only had romantic/sexual successes with women that I barely knew when I made my intentions clear. Any time I’ve ever befriended a girl and then later down the road asked them out, the answer is always a resounding no. Once, I even had a girl start crying about how the friendship is ruined now even though we were only friends for a month, and it just confused the hell out of me. I’m decently attractive. I’m not Brad Pitt, but I’m probably a 7/10 or an 8/10 (I hate the ?/10 system but using it here for simplicity sake). This girl started off interested in me. I got confirmation from mutual friends that she liked me and then apparently one day had a change of heart (idk how much I believe that but for argument sake I’ll just assume they’re being truthful). So if I’m attractive enough for her to have been initially interested, and she likes my personality enough to cry about losing my friendship, why… not just go on a date with me?
Even on the internet, I just see countless cases of women talking about how they have these guy friends that are handsome and have great personalities, no mentions of any major incompatibilities or dealbreakers, and they simply can’t bring themselves to want to date these guys. And there’s all these memes that go something along the lines of POV: your hb is about to ruin the friendship followed with “I have to tell you something.”
Idk, I just struggle to grasp the psychology behind why women are seemingly almost never romantically interested in their male friends. It’s like bonding with someone on a personal level over shared interests and values just kills attraction for some reason. It’s super frustrating for me because that’s the way I want to meet my future wife. I want to do things the right way and take things slow, make sure we get along well before dating, show her I’m also interested in her as a person, etc. I have mostly male friends because my major and hobbies are heavily male dominated, but hypothetically, if I had an attractive girl friend that I got along with well enough to be friends with them, I’d be ecstatic if they wanted to date. I know a lot of people are gonna say that these women don’t want to risk the friendships, but that reasoning has always struck me as being kinda silly. If things go well (which is decently likely if your personalities are compatible enough that you get along well as friends), then there’s your life partner. If things don’t go well, then you just have one less friend. Making friends is extremely easy. Anyone with decent social skills easily has enough friends. The upside clearly outweighs the risks. Please make it make sense lol.