How do you recognize that you’ve grown as a woman compared to your younger self?
November 29, 2025
Interested in the small or big signs of personal growth women notice over time.
37 comments
I say no more often. If I don’t want to do something, I won’t. No more people pleasing.
[removed]
I’m not afraid to stand up to my past abusers and cut ties with them anymore.
Things you do differently now than youd have done in the past.
i’ve noticed i stopped doing things to please other people, i’ve also noticed a really low tolerance for bullshit.
Big thing for me was emotional regulation. Noticed it with how I reacted given certain situations (comparing to how I was before). It helped that it was noticed by my parents, friends, and therapist too lol.
I cringe and ruminate less at past encounters and am more likely to shrug it off.
Im not worried about spending a lot of money on good skincare
Also, emotionally, I know how to take care of myself when things get bad. Gotta mother myself sometimes, and that ownership over my emotions is core to my identity now
I’m selective of the people I want in my life.
When I was younger I was so appreciative of anyone that gave me a speck of attention and wanted so desperately to be their friend. This lead to bad friends, broken trusts and being a pushover.
Now I’m more confident and happy with the few friends I have in life. The new friends I make, I’m not so desperate to have them stick around.
I feel more comfortable being myself around anyone. The reason for that is, I’ve stopped people-pleasing, I’ve stopped making myself uncomfortable to make others happy, and I’ve stopped caring as much whether people like me. That is major growth for me.
How differently my family treats me vs literally anyone else. I was not born smart or beautiful or poised. I’m the youngest in my family by a lot and have been thought of as almost stuck in an age where I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t know how to discuss adult things or how to dress or how to talk to people etc etc. I’m not listened to, and if I’m slightly more demanding, I’m a nuscence. This has been on the brain since I just saw my family.
I do my job very well. I know some people sound arrogant or in their own world, but I know for a fact that I do. I work very hard and I have excelled. I have reached and succeeded my savings goals, my living situations, my education. My coworkers treat me like their friend but also know the importance of their work. My friends outside of work described me as smart and outgoing and mature once and all I could think was ‘my family would never describe me like this’
I like my work, my accomplishments, my hair, my clothes, every now and again I don’t love how my meat sack looks in the mirror but ita the only one I have so it better be decent.
[removed]
When I reflect on my past actions, I notice how immature they were compared to the person I am today.
I am not afraid to ask for the treatment I deserve from other people – partners, parents, co-workers, friends or strangers. I’ve learnt to stand up for myself and not tolerate any behaviours i wouldn’t inflict on others.
Making the right choice for myself even if it makes someone else unhappy.
Setting boundaries then maintaining them.
When I stop, take a breath, and choose not to argue/engage.
When i realize im wrong and admit it right away
The ability to let things go. Something’s made me mad, can I change it? Yes? Then do. No? Then don’t waste more time on it than necessary. Let it go, move on, don’t let things I can’t control destroy my day.
I got more serious about stuff. Before it was shop ’til you drop, parties I ran away from home to join and a very bad attitude. Today, I feel like I’m more humble and less reckless.
My mama died february this year, and since then I feel like I became more of an actual adult. I’m 26 years old. I moved out asap after her death and have been able to stand on my own feet since. I think the move also had a play in my change of attitude.
Low tolerance for bullshit and excuses
I used to be scared to drive on the freeway or in unfamiliar parts of town. Now I travel around and drive in different states.
One time, I tried to change a headlight in my car, and it took all day, and I cried. Now I can knock out car repairs no problem.
I entertained a mediocre partner for 10 years, another for 5. That experience taught me something, now I know what to look for to kick a guy to the curb.
I’m quicker to spot BS, to establish and maintain boundaries, and to forgive. I’ve found that resenting someone is like me swallowing poison and waiting for them to die.
I hold my boundaries as if the person who is pressuring me is in the wrong. Especially at work. People walk it back real quick when they realize you know they have no power to force you.
Having the strength and self respect to walk away from things that don’t serve me.
Not giving an f anymore. And always, always putting myself and my inner child first.
I would be so envious of older women who were sassy. You too will get there. Life will beat the crap out of you for it, but you will get there eventually.
More boundaries, saying ‘no’ more, less smiling, not caring about others’ opinions, realising I don’t need to create a bubbly version or myself to please others. I show up as myself and I don’t apologise for that.
I see myself transitioning from being a people pleaser to a woman with a big heart who knows that she matters too.
When I stopped caring what other people think or said about me. Literally if someone comes up to me and says “someone said this about you” I will tell them “go hear it again.” I simply do not care.
I take going to bed at my bedtime more seriously. I know sleep is really important and I have finally found ways to help me sleep, so there are no excuses for staying up until midnight.
I try to stay away from drama. Just love my plain peaceful life 🕊️
Discernment. How much I tolerate in terms of dating. Knowing what I’m looking for and not accepting anything that doesn’t align even if it means being alone.
I let go of people and things that don’t make me happy. I value a good night’s sleep. I don’t drink alcohol very often. I still get mad but I have learned to let shit go and move on. Comparison is the thief of joy. Deleted Facebook and Instagram. Never sleep with makeup on, locked in a good skin care routine.
Being more assertive and unashamed about what I want enough to communicate it + being open to experiences (saying yes) since I used to end up avoiding people and situations because I felt like a bother or I thought I would end up ruining people’s impressions of me.
When I look back to where I was mentally 6months even and don’t have the same rational for the same mindsets that I was holding before. Like a lot less people pleasing.
A newer one for me ,that I’m learning is this new connection I’m in. It’s not a secret but private. ( different side of people pleasing-being backed into a corner to share w/people. )
I talk more about what I can do, instead of what I cannot. I am leverage my insecurities to become better at things I am more capable of!
Cutting off negative people from my life. Now I only have people who energize me and I rarely feel tired.
I actually FEEL my emotions
I don’t know about ‘as a woman’ so much as just ‘as a human being’, but I notice it most when it comes to emotional maturity. In how I work through things in my head and also how I manage interpersonal conflict.
I’ve grown to be more at peace with myself. My weight, my face, my socioeconomic status… Not constantly criticising myself for one thing or another, and much happier for it
37 comments
I say no more often. If I don’t want to do something, I won’t. No more people pleasing.
[removed]
I’m not afraid to stand up to my past abusers and cut ties with them anymore.
Things you do differently now than youd have done in the past.
i’ve noticed i stopped doing things to please other people, i’ve also noticed a really low tolerance for bullshit.
Big thing for me was emotional regulation. Noticed it with how I reacted given certain situations (comparing to how I was before). It helped that it was noticed by my parents, friends, and therapist too lol.
I cringe and ruminate less at past encounters and am more likely to shrug it off.
Im not worried about spending a lot of money on good skincare
Also, emotionally, I know how to take care of myself when things get bad. Gotta mother myself sometimes, and that ownership over my emotions is core to my identity now
I’m selective of the people I want in my life.
When I was younger I was so appreciative of anyone that gave me a speck of attention and wanted so desperately to be their friend. This lead to bad friends, broken trusts and being a pushover.
Now I’m more confident and happy with the few friends I have in life. The new friends I make, I’m not so desperate to have them stick around.
I feel more comfortable being myself around anyone. The reason for that is, I’ve stopped people-pleasing, I’ve stopped making myself uncomfortable to make others happy, and I’ve stopped caring as much whether people like me. That is major growth for me.
How differently my family treats me vs literally anyone else. I was not born smart or beautiful or poised. I’m the youngest in my family by a lot and have been thought of as almost stuck in an age where I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t know how to discuss adult things or how to dress or how to talk to people etc etc. I’m not listened to, and if I’m slightly more demanding, I’m a nuscence. This has been on the brain since I just saw my family.
I do my job very well. I know some people sound arrogant or in their own world, but I know for a fact that I do. I work very hard and I have excelled. I have reached and succeeded my savings goals, my living situations, my education. My coworkers treat me like their friend but also know the importance of their work. My friends outside of work described me as smart and outgoing and mature once and all I could think was ‘my family would never describe me like this’
I like my work, my accomplishments, my hair, my clothes, every now and again I don’t love how my meat sack looks in the mirror but ita the only one I have so it better be decent.
[removed]
When I reflect on my past actions, I notice how immature they were compared to the person I am today.
I am not afraid to ask for the treatment I deserve from other people – partners, parents, co-workers, friends or strangers. I’ve learnt to stand up for myself and not tolerate any behaviours i wouldn’t inflict on others.
Making the right choice for myself even if it makes someone else unhappy.
Setting boundaries then maintaining them.
When I stop, take a breath, and choose not to argue/engage.
When i realize im wrong and admit it right away
The ability to let things go. Something’s made me mad, can I change it? Yes? Then do. No? Then don’t waste more time on it than necessary. Let it go, move on, don’t let things I can’t control destroy my day.
I got more serious about stuff. Before it was shop ’til you drop, parties I ran away from home to join and a very bad attitude. Today, I feel like I’m more humble and less reckless.
My mama died february this year, and since then I feel like I became more of an actual adult. I’m 26 years old. I moved out asap after her death and have been able to stand on my own feet since. I think the move also had a play in my change of attitude.
Low tolerance for bullshit and excuses
I used to be scared to drive on the freeway or in unfamiliar parts of town. Now I travel around and drive in different states.
One time, I tried to change a headlight in my car, and it took all day, and I cried. Now I can knock out car repairs no problem.
I entertained a mediocre partner for 10 years, another for 5. That experience taught me something, now I know what to look for to kick a guy to the curb.
I’m quicker to spot BS, to establish and maintain boundaries, and to forgive. I’ve found that resenting someone is like me swallowing poison and waiting for them to die.
I hold my boundaries as if the person who is pressuring me is in the wrong. Especially at work. People walk it back real quick when they realize you know they have no power to force you.
Having the strength and self respect to walk away from things that don’t serve me.
Not giving an f anymore. And always, always putting myself and my inner child first.
I would be so envious of older women who were sassy. You too will get there. Life will beat the crap out of you for it, but you will get there eventually.
More boundaries, saying ‘no’ more, less smiling, not caring about others’ opinions, realising I don’t need to create a bubbly version or myself to please others. I show up as myself and I don’t apologise for that.
I see myself transitioning from being a people pleaser to a woman with a big heart who knows that she matters too.
When I stopped caring what other people think or said about me. Literally if someone comes up to me and says “someone said this about you” I will tell them “go hear it again.” I simply do not care.
I take going to bed at my bedtime more seriously. I know sleep is really important and I have finally found ways to help me sleep, so there are no excuses for staying up until midnight.
I try to stay away from drama. Just love my plain peaceful life 🕊️
Discernment. How much I tolerate in terms of dating. Knowing what I’m looking for and not accepting anything that doesn’t align even if it means being alone.
I let go of people and things that don’t make me happy. I value a good night’s sleep. I don’t drink alcohol very often. I still get mad but I have learned to let shit go and move on. Comparison is the thief of joy. Deleted Facebook and Instagram. Never sleep with makeup on, locked in a good skin care routine.
Being more assertive and unashamed about what I want enough to communicate it + being open to experiences (saying yes) since I used to end up avoiding people and situations because I felt like a bother or I thought I would end up ruining people’s impressions of me.
When I look back to where I was mentally 6months even and don’t have the same rational for the same mindsets that I was holding before. Like a lot less people pleasing.
A newer one for me ,that I’m learning is this new connection I’m in. It’s not a secret but private. ( different side of people pleasing-being backed into a corner to share w/people. )
I talk more about what I can do, instead of what I cannot. I am leverage my insecurities to become better at things I am more capable of!
Cutting off negative people from my life. Now I only have people who energize me and I rarely feel tired.
I actually FEEL my emotions
I don’t know about ‘as a woman’ so much as just ‘as a human being’, but I notice it most when it comes to emotional maturity. In how I work through things in my head and also how I manage interpersonal conflict.
I’ve grown to be more at peace with myself. My weight, my face, my socioeconomic status… Not constantly criticising myself for one thing or another, and much happier for it
Being able to set boundaries and enforce them