Ok, without going into a million details, my husband 46M and I 43F had a fight tonight that started like almost every other fight we have had in our 20+ year marriage, but then snowballed into one of the worst, if not the worst, fight we have ever had (and that is saying A LOT). We have 2 kids (11M and 10F). These kids are the centre of my world.
He took off for a drive for a couple of hours, then came back. He said to me when he got back “you know, there is more than just the two options for the kids.
More than just living with you or living with me. There is a third option.”
I asked “what is that?”
He said “foster care.”
I was speechless. This raised about a million questions for me. But most of all, it really showed me how far he was willing to go to hurt me. He would sacrifice his children, put them into an overburdened, under-resourced system that has a TON of issues with children being abused, JUST to hurt me.
My question is what the fuck do I do now? I have no money of my own (I lost my job in June, haven’t been able to find a new job since then. I have credit cards I am joint on, but I have no access to cash, and he can just turn those credit cards off). I have no support (like family or friends) that can take my kids and I in. Even without me working, our household annual income is still fairly high. I won’t qualify for much assistance unless I leave, but I literally have nowhere to go. I am terrified to leave my kids here now. A couple of years ago we were on the brink of divorce, and he as good as told me that he will use the fact that he makes so much more money than I do (I was working at the time) to destroy me in court and take my kids.
I am terrified. I have spent essentially my entire adult life with this man. We have built a life. He has said some deranged shit before, but this is next level.
Any and all advice welcome. There is so much (like 20+ years worth) backstory, but at the end of the day this is something that I don’t have the first clue how to face.