I’m 21, an only child, and I recently lost my father, suddenly, unexpectedly, and at a time when I was just beginning to understand life, careers, responsibilities, and who I wanted to become.
The timing feels unbelievably cruel. For most of my life, I didn’t value time with him the way I should have. I thought I had years ahead of me to learn from him, to ask him questions, to figure out adulthood with his guidance…I am above average (with academics and extracurriculars) to say the least, and thought I could just tap into things easily. And, I was only starting to see the world, the industry I’m working in (tricky corporate world, where my dad excelled easily), and what it means to build a life. And now, just when I needed him the most, he’s gone. I can't trust anyone, nor can I ever find a mentor like him.
I can’t shake this feeling of regret, not for big mistakes, but for all the tiny moments I took for granted. All the conversations I could have had. All the wisdom he carried that I never bothered to ask about because I assumed there would always be time.
Now life feels overwhelming. I’m suddenly navigating adult responsibilities, family issues, career pressure, and emotional chaos, all without the person who would’ve been my safest anchor.
I don’t know how to grieve healthily.
I don’t know how to stop feeling like I wasted the time I had.
I don’t know how to grow into the person he believed I could be when I feel so lost.
Any insights, experiences, or even small words would mean a lot. I just feel very alone in this right now.