Hi, I’m 29F. Two days ago, my parents (62F and 64M) told me they hate my partner (30M). I’m Korean and he’s Chinese, and they straight-up admitted they are racist and “hate Chinese people.” They’ve only met him 3–4 times. He has never done anything wrong, and we’ve been together for 2 years. He’s a genuinely good guy.
They also called him “lazy” and said they disliked him from day one. This made me realize they’re extremely toxic, manipulative, and maybe even narcissistic. This isn’t new behavior either. When my younger brother dated a Taiwanese girl, they insulted her constantly, and he ended up hiding the relationship.
I’ve been crying all day. I feel vulnerable and overwhelmed. I recently had brain surgery two weeks ago, and this stress is making everything so much worse. I don’t have a job right now, so leaving isn’t simple, but I feel like I need to get out as soon as possible.
I’m also remembering things from childhood that I had suppressed. When I was 4, my mom told me my grandma (dad’s mom) was “dirty.” Because of that, I repeated it to her and treated her poorly. She passed away years later, and my dad still thinks I was just a mean kid. He doesn’t know my mom planted that idea in my head. Realizing this as an adult makes me feel sick.
I’m 29, and I know I can’t let them control me anymore. But I’m scared, unsure of my next steps, and recovering from surgery.
My question: How do I safely go low-contact or no-contact and get out of this environment when I have limited money, poor health right now, and nowhere immediate to go?
TL;DR: I’m 29F, my parents (62F, 64M) admitted they’re racist and told me they hate my Chinese boyfriend (30M) for no reason. They’ve done this before with my brother’s Taiwanese girlfriend. I recently had brain surgery, I’m jobless, and I’m remembering childhood manipulation from my mom. I want to go no-contact and leave, but I don’t know how to do it safely with my current situation.