So after our fight about me joining a gym, he didn’t sleep in our room for a whole week. This happens every time we argue. He withdraws, sleeps somewhere else, and barely talks to me. I stayed quiet and focused on the kids and my work.
I ended up canceling my gym membership. I just lost all motivation. I might join a cheaper gym later or try working out at home, but that honestly feels sad.
When he finally apologized, he said he was stressed about family, the future, and saving money. I just listened. I didn’t respond because I didn’t have the energy to explain my side. We had two peaceful days after that.
Then today everything blew up again over two small things:
I wasn’t able get the kids’ goggles yesterday. I ran out of time, i had to drive back to pick up the kids from school. I left the house later than planned, dropped by my parents’ place, and helped them with some tech stuff. Their home is just a 10 minute drive from my house and close to the store, so it’s not like I went out of my way. I planned on going to the store the next day, no big deal. He got upset and said I never stick to plans and that I “always detour.” Oh please, I do not have friends. I never go out. Because when I try to, he will just say, go pack your bags and don't come back.
And for the 2nd thing, he found the jacket that belonged to my youngest daughter’s classmate in the car. I gave the kid and her mom a ride yesterday. She usually Ubers taking her baby and stroller with her. It was on my route anyway. I’ve only given her a ride twice, just trying to help another mom out. I know how hard it is going around with a baby in tow.
So I asked him to hand the jacket to the child or mom since he was driving the kids to school. I usually do the school drop-off, and I could have dropped the jacket off myself and gotten the goggles, but he suddenly decided he wasn’t going to work today and took over the school run.
He was annoyed about the “detour” to my parents’ place, but once he found out I gave someone a ride, that’s when he really blew up. He got very angry, said it wasn’t my problem, accused me of “socializing too much,” cursed at me, insulted me, and said things like “one day I’ll leave and don’t expect any money from me.”
We argued, but I stayed calm. Before, I would be crying and apologizing just to keep the peace. Now I’m starting to feel detached.
I’m not posting this to bash him. I’m trying to understand whether this pattern eventually reaches a point where the marriage can’t be saved.
So I will be alone in my bed again tonight. That's ok. No tears.