Don’t scold me, I just want to tell my story

(Sorry for bad English)
M(38) was married to my ex wife (was 36) for
13 years and two years were dating for 2 years – in general 15 years together, we have son Dylan 11 years old . Me and my wife get divorced when he was 9 , it was bad divorce for two of us and him . I'll start from the start: we meet in the library she was typical nerd who loves reading and me as a bad guy, we easily find was and started to date and then get married and then Dylan was born , we live perfectly for one moment, Dylan when he was young he was more attracted to Anne ( my wife) then to me but after 5 he were more to me so I decided to spend more time with him and he was happier too unlike Anne she feels a bit jealous but she doesn't tell me all shit became when she finds a work in cool law firm and then all starts: she works all day from 10 to 6 and Dylan was angry at her because she doesn't spend a more time with him and we have a lot of arguments about that so … When Dylan was 8 we have a big scandal because she was late for 2 hours and when he was 9 we get divorced, she doesn't wanted this and tell me that we could try therapy but i refuse when we finally get divorced neither I nor Dylan wanted to have any contact with her , Dylan was living with me and doesn't talk to her , she tried a lot of times to talk to Dylan or me but we didn't. And then she gave up and all she did it was child support nothing more and after it we didn't talk for months , sometimes I thought about he sometimes i even miss her and Dylan too , but one evening change everything had changed when I arrived from work I get a call from her: her voice was raspy and I asked her why did she call she tell that she wanted to see us two in the hospital for few minutes that's all , I asked her why she was in the hospital she doesn't tell so I decided to visit her and I take Dylan also , when we arrive we saw her in hospital bed and later I found out that she has a cancer and she would live few days and I was shoked i wanted to ask more but look at her weak and pale in bed …I just couldn't. I decided to spend all time that was left , with her , i wanted to tell her how much I and Dylan love her and how much we miss her .. unfortunately she died 5 days after when we arrive..I still can't forgive myself for what I have done to her. If you have questions I can
answer them.