This account is a burner because my husband(32) knows my other one. I’m married for a little bit more than a year. At the beginning, everything was great – except the sex. I always needed to put it in my mouth, and when he was done, we were done (2-3 times a month). He always denied sex, and it’s frustrating for a woman. That’s why just 2 or 3 times a month. For his work, we moved to a different city, which was very small, and I couldn’t find work – not even at Walmart. With time, he started changing, being rude to me, saying words that were not respectful for any little thing that happened. I wanted to fix the marriage, so I swear – every single time that I wanted to talk, he would get mad because he didn’t want to talk about our problems, he would yell and call me names. After I needed to go say I am sorry to be okay even though I was right. He never apologized and said that he won’t do it because he meant it, and he is right. With time, he started saying that he didn’t want sex because he didn’t feel attracted to me (physically and because I bother him). I still tried. I found a job. One night, we had an event, got drunk, and I got pregnant. I am 7 weeks now. The thing is, after the pregnancy, he says that it’s my fault. I am the one that should have done this and that. There was not even one day that he didn’t call me names (idiot, irresponsible, I’m not self-sufficient, retarded, fat – I’m 5’5”, 130 lbs). I don’t know what to do. I did love him, I did respect him in every aspect and way possible, but I am tired of it. I don’t feel any attraction or respect towards him anymore. We don’t even touch each other anymore. I want him to change. I want to make it work, but I can’t do it by myself. He says that he is like this and won’t change. I don’t want to be a single mother, but I don’t want to bring a child to this scenario. I want my child to see its parents loving each other, respecting each other. I am against abortion, but it sounds like it’s the only solution- followed by divorce. I know my worth, but I let it aside for him. I don’t know how I could do it to myself and support so much stuff, from pushing me to throwing things, taking the car keys away when we were arguing (our cars are in his name even though we bought them after the marriage), hearing so much, he saying that was going to call my family to pick me up, hearing that he would ignore me and my child. I don’t want to tell my family and friends what I am going through. I’m ashamed. His family doesn’t even know about the pregnancy. Can we still fix it? Do I have any other solution? Thank you everyone for reading and helping me.
EDIT: Thank you you all. I will look into it and start a plan, financial and in everything else to get out asap.