Background: I 24M just broke up with a 25F who I thought she's my everything. I fell so hard for her. It was the most painful heartbreak I've ever felt. She literally went back to her ex after moving to a new state. I was so vulnerable and open to her to the point I'm wondering if my heart is capable of opening up to a new person. I've never felt so bad for myself for being used and discarded by someone you thought they had huge interest on you. It's mind blowing. I couldn't sleep well for days tbh.
I promised myself that I'll never fall in love again.
Current situation: In week time after that statement, I met a new girl in my workplace who came looking for a job. We talked for sometime and I couldn't help but notice someone developing feelings for me. I took her number just to be in touch.
She proposed a meet-up in the evening after work. My heart knew exactly where this thing is going. I was being hesitant first but due to optimistic comments from my previous post, I decided to give it a chance.
On the meet up: I've never thought I would have such a hard time to let my guard down and emotions get the best of me unlike the previous relationships. We talked alot and she seemed so attracted to me. I could read this by her stare and flirtatious cues. I picked up some lessons from my previous relationship and one of them was, "Actions speak louder than words". I tried so hard to listen what's she's saying so that I may spot some redflags. I ignored this and trust me I paid heavily for it on my previous relationship.
Overview of her character and appearance : she's 27F and I'm 24M. She's kinda short, attractive and polite too.
Some statements or cues from her that got my alarm ringing
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I'm not looking for a relationship but she's was so flirtatious. After the meet-up, she sent a text saying, "you've caught my attention and I'm attracted to you"
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She was scrolling on her gallery and since I wasn't paying attention, she said, did you spot any explicit(nudes) on my phone? I said no. And then she proceeded by saying, "there's a boy who sent me this and I don't like them. Mind you, she has being single for 2 years as ahe told me. But my mind was like, why entertain that kind of stuffs in the first place while you weren't in a relationship ?
My thinking : I just feel so bad myself. I'm not bragging but most girls find me so attractive and I find it hard to discern their intentions. Do some of them just want to get laid or want to build something genuine ? I'm tired of being used up and discarded.
Thanks for reading. I want to know your views on this.