So my 13yo step-daughter's step sister called her crying, see she's 10 and her dad(also my step daughters dad) passed away and she lives with her grandmother. Well she was recently diagnosed with cancer and is broke, so they won't be doing much for thanksgiving and she usually just watches tv the whole week off school, she stays with her because his mom is a drug addict. Anyway, she called her crying that she will be bored thanksgiving week and wants her to go over for that week. Our daughter's bio dad's side of the family is full of drug addicts and trouble makers, my wife insists we keep a strong tie to her family, so we've been taking her over(a 6hr drive) at least thrice a year. Recently, i told her since expenses are rising, and she's still a sahm, that we ask them to meet us halfway to save some gas and not get a hotel. They refused saying everyone was busy and some people that could have were now in jail. I told my wife we've been doing this for years and i dont think it's fair tbh, but she disagrees and says we "aren't doing it for them we're doing it for our daughter". I told her well it's also about the money, due to inflation and you not getting a job, we are hurting right now. She said we'll "figure it out" which means we'll put it on the CC and pay it off when we can. She also said this is a "non-negotiable" and that "we are going".
Is it fair for my wife to make this kind of decision solo, or should we be agreeing as partners? How do you handle "non-negotiable" issues in your marriage?