I (28 F) have been seeing this guy (29 M) for a few months now. We have really good sex but he is unable to stay hard and l'm starting to have self esteem issues from it. Most of the sex is very centered on me — he is insistent on making me cum over and over again, so much so that I generally have to ask him to stop because my body just can't take it anymore. But when we have PIV sex it goes one of two ways: he either finishes in 90 seconds or less or we'll have PIV sex for like 5 min and he'll go soft. We don't use condoms (I have an IUD and he pulls out) so it isn't a sensory thing. I don't really get it. I've tried to broach the subject with him and he usually makes an excuse and brushes it off.
His penis isn't very big, probably average if not slightly below average, but that's not really an issue for me (motion of the ocean etc) He is also weird about me touching it and doesn't seem to love it.
He does not want a BJ, which is fine by me because I generally don't love giving them; but I also want him to get pleasure out of sex. He insists he does but l'm having a hard time at this point taking his word for it. He initiates sex most of the time but just really struggles keeping it going.
What do I do about this? He's bi, but has mostly been with women (and has had long term relationships only with women), and he doesn't seem to really be into porn any more than your avg guy. I'm not sure if this is a self esteem issue? Has anyone dealt with this or something similar? What have you done about it?