My husband was raised catholic, his parents devote Catholics. He went to catholic school k-12. I was raised religious mutt of many Protestant flavors. When we married we both were very atheist. After recent events and having 3 children we are both revisiting faith. Me because there has to be something more, and him because he doesn’t want the children to live unbaptized. We have a 6, 5 and 3 year old who have never been baptized but our oldest have attended a Montessori which is catholic based for a few years. This is primarily my choosing based on location and it was full day kindergarten, which is hard to find in our town.
Our marriage has been very strained for 2 years with very hostile words and ignoring feelings (all the 4 horsemen if you know Gottman).
Now my husband has become very catholic saying that we need to get the kids baptized because his father asked us to. And it would make grandpa happy, “but also it’s important”.
I have attended a few masses and I’m just in tears every time because of how disconnected it feels and I don’t feel welcome or any message from the priests. I honestly don’t know how to interpret their messages.
I have been attending a different church every chance I get to broaden my horizon and find a place I feel like is giving a clear message and is truly following in Gods direction.
Here’s my problem. This week we went to mass because my oldest was participating…. And as everyone takes communion I stay back since I’m not catholic. Again I have a flood of emotions because my husband is adamant the children are now going to be raised in this religion. He believes that the only way to heaven are the catholic things that need done (I don’t remember but there are like 5 things). He is insisting we do the baptisms, but hasn’t made the full plan to do it. And we will miss the age cut off for our oldest to be under 7….
So I’m watching mass and I realize that he only cares that the children go to heaven. He isn’t worried that I’m not catholic… I’m not doing the pillars/covenant things. I haven’t taken a communion in nearly 20 years.
Am I wrong to think he doesn’t even care about me or is he just not really actually believing in the church and trying to appease his image for his father?
Be gentle to me. We are in counseling, but it’s not the right person. I’m really trying to save this relationship with faith and now I’m hurting.