Yesterday morning I (43M) unexpectedly had an erection problem with my wife (36F). I had drunk too much the night before, but in the past alcohol only made it harder to finish, never to get hard in the first place.
It hit me harder than I expected. I spent the whole day feeling old, anxious, and honestly pretty defeated.

Later that evening something very spontaneous happened between us (nothing story-like, just an unexpected intimate moment), and my erection came back instantly and strongly. It reassured me, but also made me think.

I realized two things:

  1. This was the first time I seriously thought about my long-term health and lifestyle, especially alcohol, if I want to keep my sexual function strong.
  2. A bit of spontaneity and novelty in a long-term relationship can make a big difference.

Has anyone else experienced alcohol-related erection issues even when it never affected you before? How did you deal with it and what changes helped?


9 comments

  1. Alcohol causes a plethora of sexual issues at our age. You’re right to be concerned and to consider making changes. My husband waited too long to start paying attention, now he’s on medication that supports his heart but causes the exact issue you’re describing. Don’t let it happen to you.

  2. Yes and it sucks. Which is why I don’t drink as much as I use to. But also being healthy diet wise and physically wise is so beneficial. Especially for libido. But also you getting at the age where testosterone production is slowing down. It’s not gone but it’s not being produced like it would’ve been when you were 21.

  5. I rarely drink and am in good health, but have also had problems with arousal-we are the same age. If you are prone to drink in excess, moderating your consumption is always a good idea, but also know that it’s normal for your experience of arousal to change as you age.

    You and I are not “old” and our age and issues with arousal should not discourage you from enjoying sex. When I began having problems maintaining an erection that interfered with sex I spoke with my doctor about the symptoms I was experiencing. They prescribed a small daily dose of tadalafil (cialis) and with it my spouse and I can enjoy sex when we want in a way that feels very natural.

    DO reconsider your relationship to alcohol, and make an effort to eat well and stay active, but don’t beat yourself up over your age or health. If you have persistent problems with arousal don’t hesitate to contact your doctor. Always remember that erectile dysfunction is very treatable:-)

  6. The joy of alcohol for me isn’t worth the drawbacks.

    Being a bit buzzed or whatever is nice but being crabby the next day isn’t. I value the people in my life, so I don’t want to be crabby around them. So I’ll only drink if I’m going to be alone the next day.

    You were not present for your wife in an obvious way, but have you considered some of the more subtle ways you might not have been? Was being drunk the night before worth it? It might not be just your health to consider, but your marriage too. If you drink enough, you won’t have any where to put your erection.

  7. I (68m) have been a heavy drinker my whole adult life (3 or more drinks a day). Then a couple moths ago I had a medical procedure, and the recovery guidelines said no alcohol for 6 weeks. It wasn’t too difficult to abstain, but there was a surprising side effect: my libido increased and my refractory period decreased.

    From my 20s through 40s I could cum about every other day. Then from my 50s through 60s that gradually decreased, to more like every 5 or 6 days. But after laying off the booze for 6 weeks, I can, and want to, cum about every 3 to 4 days again.

    I can’t speak to erection issues since I’ve been on daily Tadalafil for the past 10 years, so erections are never an issue for me.

  8. Age also does its things. I do not drink much, but have occasional had problems with erection lately. I am soon 48 and never had problems when I was younger. I sleep too little, that’s my biggest problem.

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