I am a 37 year old woman. Up to this point I have always thought that the vaginal orgasm was either a myth kept alive by a woman's need to please their partners' ego or just something I'll never experience for some unknown reason. Most likely the latter. I have plenty and amazing clitoral orgasms but only when alone. Tbh I never really feel much of anything vaginally, other than the initial insertion, until it hurts. So there's multiple possible causes for my issues with vaginal orgasms.
But my new bf has been very open to trying to help me get comfortable and communicative so he can learn how to get me there. Well, Friday night we had sex. I told him to start very slow and gradually build to a rhythmic thrusting. He was perfect and said all the things I love to hear. With each thrust I felt what I think is my G-Spot having moments of very dull pleasure (which was amazing compared to the usual annoying feelings of pressure and "do I have to pee?" sensations when it gets touched/pressed). Then I experienced an immense flush of vaginal fluids inside before it leaked out.
Both my bf and I thought I must have had a vaginal orgasm. But there was no extreme peak of pleasure, no heart racing after, no rhythmic vaginal clenching, no inability to continue due to sensitivity – all the reactions during and after each and every clitoral orgasm I've ever had. I've heard that vaginal orgasms are even better than incredible clitoral orgasms. And what I experienced was definitely wonderful but it didn't feel even close to as good as a clitoral orgasm.
So I feel silly asking, but not asking has only lead me to being a 37 year old woman not knowing wtf a vaginal orgasm feels like 😂 so here we go:
Did I have a vaginal orgasm? How do I know? Why don't I already know? 🫠Was i close? And I know every vagina is different, but do y'all have any tips on what I can try to get there vaginally w my bf? Is there a possible medical or mental reason that I should look into?
I only asked that last question because I've talked to a few women who have had the same issue and they say it's likely because of sexual trauma in their childhoods. That didn't happen to me (that I know of) but I do wonder if I should, idk, get some type of exam to see if I'm somehow born physically incapable or signs of anything notable.
I strongly prefer answers from women. The man's experience in this situation is within the limits of what they see and hear from their partner. Even if their partner isn't faking it, the man will never experience the actual feelings. I also posted this in a women's health subreddit. But thought it wouldn't hurt to post it here as well and raise my chances of feedback.