I've been dating her for over a year, we have had incredible times, laughs and memories but after 6-8 hospital visits due to health anxiety and the doctors finding nothing, (blood pressure good, no blod clots, ct scans, mri's) I've gone into a caregiver role and it's burned me out emotionally and built resentment towards her. I've cared for both my mom and dad and my grandpa at home and with hospice care until the day they died and have been in this role for 4 years. I care about my girlfriend a lot and I don't want to hurt her. I've been there on the 8 hour hospital days waiting in the er, eventually told her I can't keep doing that and she respected that boundary. She doesn't want to feel like this, she doesn't do it on purpose, she goes to therapy etc, used to take anxiety meds but those caused more side effects and she stopped taking them, but I'm her boyfriend, main friend, caregiver all in one and I'm at the point where I'm half-checked out emotionally. If my mom was still alive she'd probably say to listen to your gut and be honest with her. I'm working up the courage to end the relationship but I don't want to hurt her.
TL:DR dating a girl with health anxiety that has me in caregiver role vs a boyfriend.