I've (early 30s f) struggled with dating all my life. Late bloomer, some trauma from bullying and such, and not conventionally attractive. I've never been in a relationship, been on apps on and off for several years in different big cities, but I hardly get matches and the whole thing is a struggle and largely any type of dating attempt has made me feel bad. I feel I've done every self-improvement thing under the sun, have a good set of friends and am pretty well liked but just have no dating success.
It's really hard and isolating overall – having a partner is really important to me. I try to reach out to friends/family when I feel in an especially dark spot/feeling like I'll never experience this, and I've been in therapy for quite a while. But honestly, it almost always leaves me feeling worse. Most platitudes are not really helpful and I don't know what to tell people to help them help me. If I want to vent about a bad or uncomfortable date, people tend to not really listen and push me to keep dating the person because I'm single and have so few options and they assume I'm being too picky.
I also don't want to feel like a burden or be too picky with the type of support I get since after all people are doing their best but often don't know what to say to me (and I don't know what to tell them either).
Overall I mostly avoid talking about dating, but that leaves me feeling even more isolated.
I'm just wondering, for people who DO feel supported in their singleness, how do people help you? How do you phrase what you need so they know how to help and show up for you without it being a burden on them?