I am 30m wife is 30m we have married 5 years together for 9 years. Through out our relationship she has never been a clean person but it was something I thought would get better over time. It didnt.. we had plenty of problems in our relationship due to this, including things im not proud of. I tried to end the relationship multiple times due to this but always found my way back because I really do love this woman.
Let me say this its more than not cleaning, its pure laziness and a lack of care or respect? My love language is acts of service but theres are day its come from a 12 hr shift (or longer) and I still have to come home to clean and cook and clean again. I dont really ask for alot ill be happy with eggs. Just as long as theres something to make my day 10% easier. She wont change bed sheets unless I say she wont clean the tub that she turns green from her hair dye she wknt pick up after her self period. She wont vacum or change the cats litter unless i do it my self or tell her to. She does work full time as well but I do cover all the bills except electric.indo this so she has money to travel and do whatever she wants with her money.
We live in a 4 bed room house. I gave her 2 rooms one for her vanity and one to make into a closet both rooms are just disasters with piles of clothing and garabge. This isn't the first time I've given her a full room as a closet everywhere we have lived its the same result. A few weeks ago she had shoes on the stairs and I trips over them and injured my self that was kind of a breaking point for me where I knew i couldnt take it.
We talked I expressed how I felt and things have been strange for a few weeks and she has been trying more now but i know its more so in survial mode.but today she told me "oh our relationship wasnt strong enough that dirty dishes are the breaking point"
I was thinking does she have a point? Am I over reacting?
Its conflicting because I honestly love her shes actually my best friend but this is just not a comfortable way to live.