Hi, 22F here! I’m new here on Reddit and English is not my first language so hope this isn’t written to badly.
I feel like the reason for my own confusion or whatever it is I’m feeling is bc of my inexperience when it comes to sex, I’ve been a virgin up until a little more than a year ago and have had approximately 4 sexual partners. I know your guys can’t KNOW what was going on in these guys heads but I want input as to not let my mind wander too far.
I don’t rly come of as that confidant during romantic experiences, I’m mostly shy and quiet. This is ofc bc I’m insecure, I’m a bigger girl and have struggled with body image issues all my life and it becomes very tangible in sexual contexts.
To the story. I had an after party in my apartment with random guys and girls that me and my friend met at the bar. We were hanging out, playing games, drinking etc, having a good time. One of the guys 22M sat down next to my on my couch and put his hand on my leg and it didn’t exactly feel friendly. I got tired and went to bed (it’s a one bedroom apartment). The guy then joined me in bed, eventually everyone leaves except him, my friend and another guy to keep my friend company. Me and him were in bed and he was grabbing me and squeezing, nothing weird just a little sensual spooning, but then he obviously got more horny and started dry humping me from behind.
What my mind is racing for is the fact that when in bed we didn’t talk, didn’t kiss, didn’t even look at each other. And this is the second exact experience I’ve had, though the other guy I went down on but otherwise the same vibe of no talking or kissing and just humping and touching. What does this mean? Am I the problem? Are they just horny and not actually attracted to me but just wanted to stick it up somewhere? How much should my mind be racing? He has made it clear that he isn’t interested in seeing me again.