I (24F) have had a small crush on a colleague (26M) since the beginning of October. I’m new to our workplace; I started in September. At the beginning of October, a couple of us from work when out for drinks, which is when I met 26M. We hit it off right away and I felt like there was something of a connection between us, but nothing much happened after that until yesterday.

Since that time in October, we’ve been friendly at work but we don’t really interact much. I hardly see him at all and even when I do, our interactions are brief. I’m not typically someone who gets involved with coworkers, but after expressing to some friends that I think he’s cute and we had things in common, they urged me to go for it.

Things escalated when I went out to see him last night. A different colleague is in a band, and his band was playing at a local bar. Me and 26M went to see him for support. I expected there to be more colleagues there, but I was also excited to get to spend time together alone. Anyways, after a drink, we expressed mutual desire to want to get to know each other better. He complimented me, said he wanted to go out sometime, and I told him I felt the same.

Things would have been perfectly fine if that was all, but there’s more. I guess the reciprocation of feelings gave him the confidence to be handsy with me. I truly didn’t mind nor was I complaining, as it was innocent enough (his hand on my knee, his hand on the small of my back, etc). Things got weird when we hopped in the backseat of a shared ride home (a friend of our colleague offered to drop us off at our respective houses) and he kissed my neck, which I shook off and tried to play down by joking that he should at least buy me dinner first.

Then, when I was dropped off at home, he texted me and said “miss and love you”.

Who the fuck says “love you” to someone he hasn’t even been on a date with?

I don’t know what to say or how to approach him, because he’s expecting us to go out sometime, but I’m completely turned off now. What would you say to someone who dropped the L word too soon? I’m 99% positive it wasn’t a joke or something. I think he wasn’t thinking, and had one too many beers.

How do I approach him? What do I say?


4 comments

  1. Text him back, that you are going to disregard that comment and pretend it never happened because you are still interested in going out on a date with him, and to let you know what he comes up with.

  4. Just text him and tell him you changed your mind about going out and you’d rather keep things professional.

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