I've been going through psychological trauma since 3 years. Husband has a lot of loans and I had helped him with my savings and have pledged my gold as well to help him. He made fake promises that he will give me certain amount monthly and clear my loans. He obviously is not doing that. If I ask money, he starts shaming me, saying all you care about is money, let me live in peace, etc. I have stopped asking to avoid fights.
We are hardly able to manage monthly expenses. I used to work before, but became very weak after second wave Covid and suffering from insomnia as well. I'm not in a condition to work now. I'm trying hard to improve my health.
He has been gaslighting me and making me feel horrible about myself. I cry when alone whenever we fight and try to forget about it. But it has reached a point where I can't take it anymore.
He also gets drunk and forces himself on me often. He has misbehaved in ways which I'm even ashamed to share. I go into depression. It just crushes my soul.
I wanted to leave him and shared all these issues with his mother. She scolded him and supported me. But now he has turned against me saying I'm troubling him and his mother, and threatened me that he will not leave me if I say anything to his mother again. I feel stuck and helpless.
I also feel he is having an affair..
At this point, I don't care if he has an affair. I'm so fed up, I've told him he can find someone and have a child, I won't say anything.
I just don't trust him anymore.
We fought again yesterday and he said why should I return your money when you are not giving me a child !
What am I supposed to do now ?