I need advice on how to handle a delicate situation with my brother and his wife.
They have two kids who are both neurodivergent (one on the autism spectrum). We only see them every few months due to distance, but every single time we do, both kids have extremely greasy, unwashed hair and appear not to have been bathed. This has been consistent for years.
At first I assumed it was sensory-related, but now I’m unsure. I don’t know if they’re struggling, overwhelmed, or if something else is going on. I’m worried, but I don’t want to accuse, shame, or start a fight.
How do I bring this up in a way that’s gentle, supportive, and doesn’t come off as criticism?
Or is this something I’m better off not addressing?
I care about the kids and I don’t want to ignore something important, but I also don’t want to damage my relationship with my brother.
Any advice on wording, timing, or approach would be appreciated.
TL;DR: My brother’s neurodivergent kids consistently show up with very dirty, unwashed hair every time we see them. I want to talk to him, but I’m scared of sounding judgmental. How do I bring it up without ruining our relationship?