So there’s this girl at my gym. She’s 20, in her 3rd year of BTech, and I’m 25, working as a software engineer.
We met randomly during workouts, and one day I finally gathered the courage to talk to her.
The first day was simple, it's is just exchanging names, what we both do, a little small talk. When she left, she actually waved goodbye to me, which honestly caught me off guard in a good way.
The second time we met, the vibe was decent again, so before leaving the gym, I asked if we could exchange Instagram IDs. And she actually gave hers.
Which felt like a small win because another guy tried hitting on her earlier and she literally said she finds him very annoying and he literally tried to talk to her during her entire gym session. So at least I’m not in that bucket.
And honestly, I’m the only guy she talks to at the gym and she’s the only girl I talk to.
We’ve been talking on Instagram, and there she’s completely fine. She replies nicely, good energy, very normal.
But in real life, she’s super introverted. I have to carry the entire conversation, asking questions, keeping it flowing, breaking the silence. She responds, but she rarely initiates anything. Like asks me 2-3 questions like what's my maX weight I lifted, do I have siblings, where as I ask 5-6 questions and she answers them for me.
And here’s the part that confused me more:
One day, I casually asked her, “Should we work out together?”
And she said, “Only this time.”
So it’s like she’s giving signals but then stepping back again. Very mixed-wave energy.
Now I don’t know if it’s the age gap, her being in college, or maybe she’s just shy in general. Or maybe she’s still figuring out if she wants to open up.
I’m genuinely confused whether I should keep putting effort and go steady, or just chill and match her pace.
What would you do in my place? How should I handle this?
TL;DR:
I’m a 25-year-old guy trying to get to know a tall, cute 20-year-old girl I met at the gym. We’ve talked a few times, I got her Instagram, and she’s friendly online but shy in person. I asked her to work out together—she agreed but said “only this time,” and I’m confused whether she’s actually interested or just being polite. I need advice on what to do next.