I’ve always been a saver. Not in some financial guru way I just got into the habit early on. Automatic transfers, putting a bit aside whenever work was good, keeping money in separate accounts so I wouldn’t touch it. Over time it added up.
My partner’s path was different. He’s had jobs that barely covered rent, helped out his family a lot, dealt with unexpected stuff that kept resetting his plans. So saving just never really happened for him.
Now that we’re talking seriously about moving in together, it’s hitting me that we’re coming into this with totally different starting points. It popped into my head the other night when we were talking about what neighborhood we could afford I realized I had no idea how to bring up the difference without making him feel judged. I don’t think he’s irresponsible. It’s just I’ve spent years building a cushion, and he hasn’t had the chance to. I’d be lying to myself if I acted like that doesn’t affect anything. But I also don’t want to sound like I’m keeping score or making it a me vs him thing. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how people normally handle this. Do couples talk about it directly? Keep prerelationship savings separate? Make a plan together? Or is this just one of those things where you sit down and try your best not to make it awkward?
If you’ve been in a situation where your financial starting points were uneven, how did you bring it up without it turning into something heavy?