I (19F) have been dating a guy (22M) I really like. We became official 2 months ago after he asked me to be his girlfriend and emotionally things are great. He’s sweet, respectful, and we get along really well. We kiss and cuddle whenever at each other houses, and recently I realised I am ready for things to become more physical whenever it feels natural for us. I’ve realised that my feelings have gone past really liking him and that I do love him, this is also my first relationship ever. I told him that I’d only have sex/do sexual things with someone I love and that I don’t want to rush it but I’m ready now. He’s so gentle and careful with me so I feel safe enough to lose my virginity to him.
But I’m really scared that I accidentally slowed things down too much.
A while ago we had a boundaries/sex conversation, and even though it was important, I think I made it into a bigger deal than necessary. Whilst kissing he started to rub me over my clothes and I stopped him and said politely that I didn’t want to go any further than kissing/making out and cuddling yet. Since then, he’s been extremely cautious and apologetic physically. He overthinks everything he does, hesitates with initiating, and doesn’t seem fully comfortable expressing physical affection beyond kissing/cuddling. He is a very anxious guy anyway, not just in relationships apparently and my mum says he’s only like this now because he really likes me so he’s just being extra careful not to mess things up.
I know he’s naturally anxious, and I know he really doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. But now I’m worried that we might stay stuck here, that he’s too scared of “doing something wrong” to ever relax or initiate more. I want him to be fully comfortable around me but is this a case of it will just happen within time?
I don’t want to force another big talk and make it awkward again. I just want the physical side to develop naturally, and for him to feel confident with me. Has anyone been through this? How do you move past the overly-cautious stage without making it weird/into a huge deal?
TL;DR – Had an early boundaries/sex conversation with the guy I’m dating. It made him extremely cautious physically, and now I’m scared the physical intimacy will never naturally develop because he’s too worried about doing something wrong. How do I help things move forward without having another big awkward talk?