First of all it’s been a little more than 2 months so I don’t know if anyone from my previous post will remember . I’d like to thank everyone for giving their opinions and advice it really helped me move on! My friends would help too but for some reason having support from strangers felt even better. I’m at a much better place now and a lot is distracting me lately, I’m back to school and my sister announced her pregnancy so I’m going to become an auntie 😄
The update is that he texted me this today (2 months later or so )on WhatsApp : “I won’t argue with your decision, just thought you would let me know why you cancelled me” then 5 minutes later he added ”You met someone on vacation?? You figured I was crazy 😅 Family?” Then on text messages he texted 20 minutes later “Seriously?”
I’m shocked that he didn’t understand why I decided to ghost him…
What do you guys think? I’m so lost.
💭
Original post ⬇️
I 30F ghosted my situationship 38M because he asked for my friend’s number
For a little bit of context, I started dating this guy because we were going in the same gym. He invited me over one day and that’s when it started. He was my gym crush so I had to take the opportunity. I’m 30 he’s 38 he’s a dad of three kids. I have none. He was in a long relationship of 12 years and he broke up with the mother of his kids 2 years ago. So I knew that it might be too early for him to date seriously but I was okay with having something casual. Until I started developing feelings for him which I admit to him at some point after dating for 2 months and he said he feels the same and can’t wait for me to be around his kids one day. He would tell me things like that like “wouldn’t it be nice if we moved in together, got an apartment” or “I would love to marry you one day”. He was extremely busy so I would see him rarely, our relationship was mainly texting.
One day he meets my friend and I met some of his cause he organized a dinner at his place. My friend has a bubbly personality and shes super kind. He one time told me “did you notice how your friend would tilt her head talking to me, I feel like she was flirting”. I then told him “I mean she’s in a 6 years relationship with someone she loves very much and she talks to everyone like that, that’s her personality”. He then proceeds over time to ask me questions about her, but not too many at once like maybe a question a day. I never admitted it to him because we weren’t official but, it made me uncomfortable and I would start to get paranoid thoughts of what if they end up together and I was just a tool for them. And I was really into him, I’m super picky so I was already nervous about effing things up with him. She also on her side would tell me how sexy he looks. He’s a very good looking man, tall with a 6 pack and a beautiful smile. I would try to brush these thoughts out of my head but they were in the back of my mind still. We dated for 4 months.
I then go on a 2 weeks trip with my sister that I’ve planned a long time ago that he was aware of. And on the 8th day I’m there I woke up with a text of him telling me “Can I get Sarah’s number?”. I spiralled when I read that text, because first of all what? And second of all I’m away across the ocean and he asks me for my friend’s number? I decided to ignore his message and he then texts me “Good morning” the next day. I ignored again and the third day “Hey how are you?” Fourth of July”it has been a couple of days how’s it going?” Ignored again. So basically for the first time in my life, I ghosted someone. I always thought it was such an immature and avoidant thing to do but in this case I feel paralyzed. I feel ashamed to tell him I’m jealous he asked for her number because we’re simply dating. So I don’t want to tell him that and then he’ll see me as some jealous person. Anyways I had no one to talk to about this so I’m here on reddit telling this ghosting story. I’d like people’s opinion. Should have I asked “Why do you want her number?” Or is me ghosting him valid and will he understand why? Now it’s been a week and he didn’t try to call or text again, i’m back from my trip and he knows that.
Anyways hope everyone’s having a good day/evening/night.