For context my bf (29M) and I (28F) just moved in together in September. We have been dating for almost 2 years.
We’ve hit a few roommate road bumps but I didn’t think it was anything other than moving/growing pains.
This weekend in particular was a really rough one. We fought almost everyday. I was feeling disheartened but I was under the impression it was just a phase we’d come out the other side of.
Something happened yesterday that made me do some social media deep diving…and I found out he texted his ex: “do you ever miss me”
This was after a minor argument and I had gone to bed.
I confronted him and he owned up to it. He explained he was looking to her for an answer on “what is wrong with him that this always happens” ie why their relationship fell apart and I just feel like that doesn’t add up.
I can’t imagine ever texting an ex, especially after an argument with my partner. I knew he kept in touch with his exes as he is platonically close with a few of them, but I told him the only way I’d be comfortable with that is if he told me every-time one of them texted him. I also asked him earlier in the day before I found out and he said to my face “No, I told you I would tell you if they ever reached out.” So he lied to my face.
The most embarrassing part is she read it and didn’t respond.
I loved him so much we went through so much together he has always been great up until now. He owned up to everything and apologized profusely, and assured me there is no excuse. I am just not sure where to go from here. I moved 1.5 hours away from my job for him and I just feel so stupid.
Has anyone came back from anything like this? I just feel like I am too old to start over.
TLDR: How do I (28F) forgive my boyfriend (29M) for texting his ex.