I don’t really know how to put this, but I’m struggling to continue with the relationship.
M (21F) and I (25M) have been in a relationship for a year and a half. Our relationship began when she was assigned to my department at the same company. We got to know each other each day and it wasn’t until the next week when I asked her out. We clicked instantly and didn’t have any issues of the sorts. I showed up at her house, dressed nice, good manners, while she was dressed in sweatpants and sweatshirt. I didn’t mind her style as we continued to date but noticed as I was going to her house more, she wore the same clothes nearly every week. I noticed a smell from her, assuming she just forgot to shower or something. It wasn’t until two months in, I learned she doesn’t wash herself in the shower (just lets the water rain down her back). This has also followed into rest of her body. I have noticed she doesn’t take her hygiene seriously, resulting in me catching a whiff of her when I see her.
I don’t know if she doesn’t care or is oblivious. I mentioned it to her once and she went cold shoulder on me for a day then went right back to normal, same result: didn’t wash. I care a lot about her but I’m losing attraction. She doesn’t show love back despite saying she loves me. She doesn’t say thank you/ appreciate me for all I’ve done for her.
Over the course of our relationship, she has let her room get super dirty. I’m talking like leaving her dirty clothes over the floor, eating in her bed resulting in ants, leaving pop bottles everywhere, and her tampons all over her bathroom. She claims she is going to do it herself and gets mad when I take care of myself at her house. I can’t even use her bathroom ever because she doesn’t flush her own toilet and her bathroom trash is full. It’s disgusting and humiliating to be there.
She was diagnosed with depression and takes anxiety medication. She stopped seeing her therapist because she says she can handle herself fine. I know it’s not true because she takes days off work crying and won’t tell me why when I try to comfort her. Essentially shutting me out.
Her mother wanted to talk to me because she’s worried about me. She said I deserve someone that is going to love me back and show it because M won’t change, she’s always been like this. She may have Autism and Asperger’s as well but it’s undiagnosed.
It saddens me that I put my heart and soul into this girl, and I’m barely getting anything back. Any advice on how to proceed?
TLDR: my girlfriend seems to have given up on her hygiene and I can’t take it anymore. I feel neglected in the relationship but I still care about her.