He used to be in the army but recently got honorably discharged. Lately he has become obsessed with boot camp and full metal jacket and acts like the crazy drill Sargent. I find it abusive and controlling I am tired of Having to live like I am a private in boot camp. He said he is breaking me down to build me up to make me a fighting machine like they do in the army.
Every time I do anything like talk eat walk through the house he starts comparing it too boot camp. He yells in my face because in the army the drill Sargent would be in my face. And how I would be on a diet because I am too fat. In basic training I would be punished constantly for my idaf behavior and my halfassery.
Demanding I stay out in the car and sleep out there because I am being punished for not following orders.
He wants me to stand at attention everytime he walks near me and wait until I have been told I may leave I refuse every time and there is a huge fight with him screaming.
He won't let me sleep more than five hours. If I take a nap he starts banging on the wall and screaming I wouldn't be allowed to do this in basic training. He wants kids but I am definitely not doing that.
I want a divorce. I want to call the police if things don't change. It's ridiculous.
Am I overreacting?
31 comments
Respectfully… Does your husband have a mental illness?
He also drills me over and over about what I did and who I talked to where I went and then calls me a liar . I have stopped answering him so he screams that I am a liar and in boot camp I would be in Leavenworth.
I have sympathy for both of you. I don’t know what he did while in the army, but coming back to civilian life can be difficult. Try to reach out to someone and get him help. This may be an issue that neither of you can just “fix”. In the mean time if you feel unsafe, go to a family member’s home or a friend.
The fact you have to pause and ask if you’re overreacting is astounding. Run, ASAP.
I can’t believe this is real
Former infantry soldier here. Your husband is nuts and/or just an asshole.
He was definitely not a drill instructor in the Army.
He is insane and needs to be in a bouncy room until the meds take hold. Get out now.
There is absolutely no way this is a real post
Friend. Do you have somewhere safe you can go? Contacting the VA is good advice, and so is going somewhere safe until this mental health crisis is addressed. You don’t have to get a divorce, but you do need outside help.
As someone who occasionally likes to joke around and quote movies to annoy my wife, no you aren’t overreacting. I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading.
Holly Crap. I can’t believe what I just read! It’s time to have a reality. Check talk. He needs to stop with this bullcrapp or you gotta leave for your peace and safety.
If anything, you are under reacting
As a veteran myself this is not normal. I retired and dont behave anywhere close to this. He may have some kind of PTSD but he definitely sounds like he needs therapy.
So he got kicked out and now is having a meltdown. Get him in therapy and tell him to stop bothering you.
If this is real, you need to quietly, secretly get out fast. You are in danger. Do not let him know you are leaving. Contact someone to help him with his mental issues. He needs serious help, but you are not capable of that because you are not safe around him.
So, outside the military this is called abuse. You are not overreacting. Run.
You need to let family know about this, NOW. Collect and begin your paper trial of evidence to prove that you’re being treated this way. He is psychologically tormenting you and you are in danger. Please leave him and just take some time away and be with people, and call the police and make a report FIRST.
He is clearly going thru a mental health episode and you can tell his family and or authorities that you don’t feel safe and that is perfectly ok!!!! Please please do not stay and think it will go away
Run. Run far and fast. Do not give him any warnings. Take all important documents. A DV shelter should help you as he’s 100% being abusive. Do not give him any heads up. This is how so many women end up not alive.
This is one of the most unhinged things I’ve read in a while. Please get out while you still can.
You are being abused.
Call the police. Find an attorney. Leave if you are not safe. Does the military offer any resources to recently discharged soldiers or their families? Reach out to his former command and ask. Tell someone what’s been going on. He needs serious mental help. It really doesn’t seem like this is a safe environment for you.
Do. Not. Get. Pregnant.
To the VA DBT program with him immediately.
What? Girl. Leave the house rn and talk to someone. Your husband is not well and needs help immediately.
It sounds like he’s living in a delusion.
Get out quickly and maybe contact the VA and see if there is any mental health resources for him
Unfortunately if he doesn’t agree with getting help then this won’t change.
This is insane psychological abuse. Get out of there.
No, you are not overreacting. If anything, you are underreacting. Get the fuck out of there!
He has lost his goddamn mind. He is not your Superior officer. Do not tolerate this behavior for even one more second!
I’m sure his commanding officers would love to hear about this.
If my husband told me to stand at attention I would laugh in his fucking face. He deserves nothing less.
Generate a “certificate” showing your commissioning as a Lieutenant.
Show him the cert. Call him to attention. Remind him to salute an officer. Orders of the day vacuum the carpet. Dismissed.
Seriously, he needs help. Start with the VA, American Legion, VFW, etc
Go to a safe place without warning. I think you are potentially in danger and you need to act
wtf no. leave. this dude is nuts.
This is insane. Part of me wants to believe you can’t be serious. That this is fiction.
You are asking for onset of major mental illness for yourself. There’s a reason that boot camp results in many admissions to VA mental wards. I hope you’re past the age of onset for most of them. But at the very least, you sound to me like you have PTSD, as you are passively accepting this.
He’s a lunatic. Where is your family? Get your important things together and call the police.
Does he work? Is he ever gone from the house? Be very careful. Get a brief audio recording of him if you can (it’s legal to make recordings inside your own home, you may need a lawyer and he may go apeshit and end up being far more violent).
Get out of there immediately if he has firearms you definitely need to leave. Grab important documents and whatever clothes you can. Remember clothes can be replaced over time your life can’t. Don’t tell him anything because the most dangerous time for a woman is leaving a relationship. Make your friends and family aware of the situation.
I BET he has: (1) PTSD, (2) possibly a TBI, (3) Bipolar with mania, and (4) hormonal imbalance
You NEED to get him to the VA asap…. or find some type of VA assistance non profit to ask for directions on what to do as thw spouse.
He sounds very unhinged. DO NOT take this lightly for concern of your personal safety.