I’m married for about 1.5 years now. We never had sex. Both of us are virgins and we loved each other for few years before marriage. We agreed to wait till marriage and also had ldr so chances of getting together were quite low at that time. Post marriage, for the first few attempts, he was able to insert his one finger completely but I was very tight to go for another finger. I was not turned on enough and I communicated that as well but he never really addressed that. I was so afraid so I booked an appointment with a gynaec and asked my doubts and also has a physical examination. She told there is nothing wrong with me and we can try different positions and lots of lube. She also told me that I had a tight fourchette and so I will feel more uncomfortable during sex, especially if I’m not turned on enough.
Communicated all these with him as well. Apart from actual sex, I would like to explore blowjobs and him eating my pussy. But initially once he made me feel disgusted coz I was “wet” down there which he thought was white discharge and asked me to “clean up”. Due to this incident, I was always very conscious and never really let him down there. But I was always enthusiastic about blowjob. But he never let me suck hits cock even for more than 2 mins. Only very recently, I came across Reddit post where someone talked about phimosis. And I finally understood what his and my problem is. When I tried to tell him about phimosis, he was angry and asked me to stop reading about these things. He thought I’m searching on what is his problem and found this post, but i just stumbled across the post honestly. Anyways, he never inserted even a 3 cm inside me and always after 4-5 strokes, he would say that it’s painful for me as he sees my face reaction change. But I used to tell him to go and not think about my pain and I’ll be okay. Only later I realised that he stops because it’s hurting him. How do I make him feel secure and explain him about this? And what do I do about my tight fourchette condition?
Tbh, he feels completely okay with this sexless marriage and often stays optimistic about it. Always says it will happen when the time comes and I shouldn’t worry about it.
TLDR : husband has phimosis, I have a tight fourchette, I’m unable to explain his problem to him as he’s sensitive about it. How do I explain it so that it doesn’t hurt him?