I [44M]currently dating a woman [42F] who has a controlling ex husband. We have been going out for 3 months. They have 3 children together and were divorced 2 years ago. They communicate via an app only. He has a history of hitting her, she was not allowed to have a bank account when they were married, he put cameras in their house when they were married. She tried to get counseling for them but the counselors recognized his narcissist behavior.
They coparent and he will purposely keep anything of value the kids are sent to his house with. He texts her via the app several times a day about ridiculous stuff just to keep her attention. Recently he wanted to get the kids on his health insurance and she refused, which set him off and initiated empty threats because he feels as if he’s being crossed.
She handles it well and has a survivor mentality, but recently he has become the focus of most of our conversations and she is racked with anxiety. She takes medication to deal with the stress. Question is, I really like her, she is an awesome human being. Her kids are great and I can see a future together. Is it worth it to have to see her struggle so much? I like listening to her and helping her, but I can’t be her full time caregiver. Thanks for any help!
TL:DR I have a great girl I’m seeing who lets her narcissistic ex husband who still tries to control her. She talks about it a lot and I’m wondering if I should leave