I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years. She has depression and is on antidepressants. When we got together our sex life was fine and we had sex regularly.
For the last 2 years it’s been pretty much non existent. My gf switched antidepressants but when our sex life started getting affected she mentioned wanting me to initiate sex more.
I tried this and got rejected every time. Last year we had sex twice. I asked her how she’d like me to initiate and she said she doesn’t know.
This year she’s been feeling low mentally. For the last few months things have been better for her. Again when we I e tried I pitting sex she rejects me.
She passed her university qualification last week and I booked a weekend at a romantic hotel for us. We got there, had some spa treatments, a nice meal then went back to the room and I got rejected again.
The next day I was upset and she asked what was wrong and I just explained how being constantly rejected has pretty much ruined my self esteem.
She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she can’t repeatedly ask me to initiate sex only to reject me every time.
She again said I wasn’t being fair and she can’t help having depression but I just said she can’t expect me to go without sex permanently while being constantly rejected.
She said I was being harsh but I don’t think I am. I explained to her something has to change as she can’t expect me to just accept not having sex and being rejected when I try to initiate it.
Does anyone have any advice e on how to approach the situation or have any other perspectives on it?
Tl;dr my girlfriend said I was harsh when I explained how dejected I am feeling after ring constantly rejected.