My husband (29M) and I (31F) have been married for 1.5 years and together for 6 years. He told me last week that he was going to the gym with some friends. When he got home, I asked who went, and he said it was his female friend (23F) and a male friend who lives pretty far away. That seemed strange to me (it didn’t make sense that the male friend would drive so far for a short gym session) but I let it go.
A little later, we were driving home from the store and he opened Maps on his phone. It said “drive to [female friend’s] location.” I didn’t even know he had her location saved. He tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but it made me uncomfortable. He said he also had the male friend’s location and could prove that part.
I told him I also felt suspicious about the gym trip and wanted to see the texts that showed they’d planned to meet there. He immediately started freaking out and calling me crazy, psycho, etc. That reaction made me even more suspicious.
After I threatened to leave, he finally admitted that he had gone to the gym with just the female friend and lied because he “didn’t want to make me insecure.” This was the first time I’ve ever caught him in a lie, and it really upset me. He apologized and asked what he could do to make it better. I told him I wanted him to stop sharing locations with her because it felt inappropriate. He reluctantly agreed.
But he also said he would “need to think of an excuse” for why he stopped sharing his location with her, which didn’t sit well with me.
About six days later, I asked whether he had removed her location. He hadn’t. I asked if he planned to. He said yes. I asked for a deadline. He refused. He also said he was hoping I’d change my mind because I hadn’t brought it up for a few days.
I told him I wasn’t going to change my mind. I also (which I know wasn’t the best choice) told him that if he didn’t delete her location, I would message her husband to ask if he knew they were sharing locations. I’m not sure if that’s what finally did it, but my husband eventually removed her location. Now he’s upset again and calling me crazy.
I understand he didn’t like the comment about messaging her husband. I’ve never eve done something like that. But I also feel like he only agreed to delete the location to pacify me and that he wasn’t prioritizing my feelings at all.
TL;DR: Husband lied about going to the gym with a female friend, has her location saved, got defensive when asked for proof, reluctantly agreed to stop sharing locations but stalled for days. Only deleted it after I threatened to tell her husband, and now he’s calling me crazy. I feel like he isn’t prioritizing my feelings.